Without A Choice
by Heartbroken1
Summary: Alternate ending to One Bite Changes Everything..Bella is changed by Victoria and now everyone must deal with the aftermath. IMPORTANT...in this version, Jacob has NOT imprinted..yet.
1. Heartbreak

**_Author's Note: The first bit will look familiar but I assure you the end is far from the same...ENJOY!_ :)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

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**Alternate Ending to One Bite Changes Everything

Without a Choice

Chapter 1 - Heartbreak

Jacob POV

Today is New Years Eve and I have big plans for ringing in the new year. While Bella works, Paul is going to keep an eye on her so that I can finalize the plans. My heart fluttered as I thought of her and I together for another year. I kissed her forehead and pulled her body closer to mine. She sighed and snuggled into me, kissing my chest.

"Good morning," she whispered gruffly against me skin, lifting her lips to meet mine.

"Good morning, my love. Did you sleep well?"

"I did." She stretched, shaking off the morning. "You still haven't told me what we're doing tonight," she accused.

"Tonight, we are going over to Sam and Emily's for one hell of a New Year's Eve bash," I grinned at her.

"But what are we doing this afternoon?" She wasn't going to let me off that easily. I'd promised to pick her up after the half day of work and show her a really special time. Since the words had left my mouth she'd been trying to get me to spill the beans that were my surprise. So far, I'd managed to keep it under wraps.

"It will be fantastic, but that's all I'm going to tell you. Now get dressed, you're going to be late for your date with Newton." She glared at me while I laughed at her expense.

We pulled into Newton's parking lot and I kissed Bella gently and then watched her disappear through the doors. I quickly walked around back to make sure Paul was in fact here and ready to protect Bella if the need were to arise.

"I'm here," he sneered. Paul's feelings for Bella had softened, he didn't want to admit it, but he did like her -- a lot. However, he resented the fact that Sam had ordered him to 'babysit' her.

"Don't forget to be extra watchful." He rolled his eyes and groaned. "Please, Paul."

"Fine," he snorted.

"I'll be back to get her after her shift."

"I'm on it, brother," he informed me, rolling his eyes. I chose to walk away rather than get into it with him once again.

Bella POV

The day seemed to drag on and on. As always Mike was here, but things had changed for the better. Mike had a girlfriend. He was head over heels for this girl and I couldn't be more relieved. He gushed on and on with Kevin about how wonderful she was. At first, I'd wondered if it was only for my benefit. But after weeksof it, I chalked it up to the real thing -- infatuation.

As the clock neared closing time, Mike became more and more anxious to leave. Kevin was already gone, claiming to be sick before happily waving to me on his way out the door.

"Hey, Bella. Would you be okay locking up? I'd really like to get out of here right at 2:00."

"I can do that," I assured him.

"Thanks! You're a life saver," his smile spread from ear to ear as he smashed the keys into my hand. "I'll come by and get them tomorrow, okay?"

"That'll be fine. Just call first and make sure I'm home."

"Deal. Thanks again," he hollered on his way out the door. I realized for the first time that I was now completely alone in the store. I walked back to the store room and pushed on the door, checking to see if it was open or not. It was. I jumped when I came nose to nose with Emmett Cullen.

"Hi, Emmett. Your turn to babysit?"

"I'm just making sure my favorite human is safe," he said, smiling.

"The pack's here too," Paul yelled as he emerged from the trees with his chest puffed out. I shook my head and rolled my eyes at his ego. Being so close to Emmett, Paul was already shaking.

"You just need to chill, Rin Tin Tin," Emmett replied, laughing.

I heard the exchanging of growls as I closed the door, locking it. I headed toward the light switches, worrying what those two might be getting themselves into.

I flipped the switch and immediately the entire store went black. My heart and stomach reacted to being alone in the darkness. I reminded myself to breathe and headed for the light coming in the front door with keys in hand.

Once outside, I slid the key into the lock and waited to hear the click signaling it was secure. I turned around and took one step toward my truck when I realized that Jacob was not the one waiting for me.

"Finally," Victoria cackled.

I tried to scream, but couldn't get anything to come out. I concentrated on my breathing as my heart crashed against the wall of my chest. She took a step toward me and I tried telling my feet to move. Nothing.

"It looks like today's my lucky day," she whispered, blowing her disgusting breath in my face. She grabbed a handful of hair and ripped my head back with such force my knees nearly gave out. "I am going to enjoy this."

"Jacob," I managed to squeak out, breathless.

"What about your beloved Jacob?" she mocked.

"He'll be here any second," I threatened.

"Good. Then he can watch me destroy you," she laughed with such intensity my ears ached from the sound of it.

"Please don't," I begged.

The whole world turned upside down in the seconds that followed. I heard growling and snarling and was knocked hard to the ground. I realized it was Victoria standing over me.

"Jacob," I whispered as my head was smashed back into the asphalt, everything going dark. I felt excruciating pain as something hard pounded against my body, snapping my bones like little twigs. I screamed out in agony. _Please help me, Jacob. Help me. I love you, _I thought as the burning began.

Jacob POV

I rushed up to the front of Newton's to see Victoria standing over Bella, her red hair blowing wildly in the wind. As I approached, she shoved Bella back, sending her head slamming into the asphalt. I looked around frantically, wondering where Paul might be.

"Paul!" I shouted just before the transformation to wolf began. I snarled at the bloodsucker standing above my precious Bella. Victoria took one step away from her and I seized the opportunity. I hurled myself at the leech, knocking her to the ground right next to Bella.

As I tore at her body, she leaned her head over and sunk her teeth into Bella's flesh, releasing deadly venom into Bella's bloodstream. Bella screamed out in pain and horror.

In the moments that followed, I heard my brother approaching. _Where the hell were you, Paul!_ I screamed.

_I uh..._ he stammered as his eyes found Bella.

_I don't want to hear your lame excuses now. Finish this!_ I ordered, leaving the final blows to my brother. I ran for the trees, phasing and covering myself before moving as quickly as I could toward Bella.

I gathered her bleeding body in my arms and held her tightly against my bare chest. I noticed the bite marks on Bella's skin and my stomach tightened. I fought the urge to vomit. My brain was swimming as it attempted to wrap itself around the fact that Bella had been bitten and consequently was going to be one of _them_.

"Jacob, I think..." Emmett spoke softly.

"I don't care what you think, you filthy bloodsucker!" I growled at him.

"If you'll only listen," he tried again. "We can fix this."

"The only way you could fix this is if you went back three years and had never set foot in Forks, Washington. You've done your damage. Now leave us alone!" I roared.

"Jacob, it hurts," Bella whimpered against my chest. I kissed her cheek and began to run. It was my first instinct. I had to get her away. I had to protect her. If I ran fast enough, maybe I could make the world reverse on its axis like the old Superman movie I'd seen as a little boy.

I ran until the sun went down. I watched the fireworks light up the sky. _Happy New Year, _I thought. _All I wanted for the new year was to be with Bella, uninterrupted by leeches. That isn't going to happen now, _my thoughts continued bitterly.

Bella had slipped into unconsciousness hours ago, but now her body began to shiver and convulse uncontrollably. I knew I could no longer keep her to myself.

I took her to the only place I could think of -- Sam's.

"I wondered when you'd show up," Sam whispered as he opened the door. I walked in, laying Bella on the bed in the master bedroom.

Upon hearing what had happened, Emily changed the sheets on her bed, insisting that Bella would be most comfortable there. Emily rubbed at the tears on her cheeks while she wiped Bella's head with a cool rag. The rest of the pack entered one by one. They all wore a sad expression. Quil placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, man," he whispered. I took a deep breath, biting back the emotions that wanted to erupt from my body.

"What's the plan?" Paul asked abruptly. I leapt to my feet and slammed his back against the wall, my hand on his throat.

"We wouldn't need a plan if you hadn't lost your head -- again! Sometimes I wonder what good you even are," I roared, seeing red flash in my eyes as the anger continued to build. I held him there with my eyes locked on his, breathing through the fury that was fighting to consume me.

I felt a hand on each of my shoulders and heard a soft voice in my ear, "that's enough, Jake," Embry told me. I looked at the other hand and it belonged to Quil. "Why don't we take you outside and you can cool down a bit," Embry suggested.

"I'm not leaving Bella," I informed the group, daring them to make me leave. I released my hand off of Paul's throat and weaved my way through the crowd to Bella's side. I knelt next to her and once again took her hand, pressing it to my lips. I could already smell their stench overtaking her and fought to keep my composure. I did not want to break in front of my brothers.

Sam cleared his throat and I forced my eyes to look at him.

"We do need to come up with a plan, Jacob. She can't stay here," Sam spoke calmly.

"I know," I growled. "It's just..." My voice broke and I chose not to finish speaking.

Quil's eyes caught mine as he smiled weakly, finishing my sentence, "it's just hard. We know," he said the words encouragingly. "What would you like to do?"

"I don't know," I whispered.

"Does anyone have any suggestions?" Embry asked diplomatically.

"We are wolves. She is now a bloodsucker. We have to kill her," Paul said matter-of-factly. A growl rumbled in my chest and I felt my body start to shake. Embry and Quil rushed to my side and Jared ran to Paul's.

"Dude, are you trying to get him to rip your throat out?" Jared hissed to Paul.

"Can you do that?" I snarled at Paul.

"Huh?" he looked stupidly at me.

"If we leave you with the assignment to take out Bella, could you do it?" His eyes looked at Bella's fragile body laying on the bed, then he looked at me while rubbing at the back of his neck. "Could you?" I roared. "Come on, you're such a tough guy! Could you _kill _Bella?" I asked the question again, yelling.

"You know I couldn't," he spoke softly, turning his back to the room, looking out the small window. I thought I saw him wipe at his eyes. I wondered if he were crying the tears I felt, but couldn't bring myself to shed.

"Jacob," Bella mumbled. I crawled into the bed, pulling her into my arms. I kissed her lightly on the head. Her body tensed from the pain infecting her body.

"Jacob?" Emily addressed me quietly, her eyes pleading with me through their tears. "You know what you have to do." I stared at her refusing to comprehend what she was telling me. I pulled Bella's body closer and shook my head back and forth, trying to shake off the realization of what Emily was saying.

"I can't," I confessed softly.

"You can," she sat on the bed, placing her hand on mine. I looked up at her and noticed that we were alone. I let the first tears fall, giving in to my anguish. "Jacob, you _can_ do this -- you have to." I bent my face down to lightly press my lips to Bella's. "Take as long as you need." She stood to leave me alone with Bella. "Remember though," she turned with her hand on the doorknob, "you only have two days."

With Bella in my arms, I made my up the Cullen's drive. My tears flowed freely down my cheeks. Bella had drifted back into unconsciousness from the pain, so I experienced mine without an audience.

As the big white house came into view, I kissed Bella sweetly. "Goodbye, my love," I whispered right next to her ear. "He will take care of you, I promise. I love you. I love you. Never forget, I love you." I placed my lips against her skin for the last time and willed my feet to move forward.

I rang the doorbell and within seconds the door flew open revealing all of the Cullens with Edward rushing out to meet me. His eyes ached as they looked at Bella. When the finally met mine, they contained only compassion.

"Tell her I will always love her," I muttered.

"I will," he assured me, attempting a weak smile.

"Edward, please take care of her."

"I promise."

I placed the love of my life into the arms of the man who would now love her for eternity. My heart broke as he looked down at her with love in his eyes. I wondered if my body could actually endure all this heartache. I knew I had to finish this now.

"This has been very hard on the pack," I choked out. "Please stay away from Forks until we are all gone."

"You have my word," Carlisle promised from over Edward's shoulder.

"Jacob," Bella mumbled and for a moment, I second guessed myself. I took one last look at my love and turned away from her.

"Goodbye," I whispered as I began running. My feet soon changed to paws and I put a voice to my anguish -- a howl escaped my body.

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**Author's Note: I am actually going out of town and will not be back until Wednesday. I'm hoping to have a couple chapters to share by then...Wish me luck :) REVIEW!!!**


	2. Awakening

**Thanks for all the fabulous comments. I appreciate them so much!!! -- Thanks to _not done baking_ for being that much needed extra set of eyes :)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her. **

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Chapter Two - Awakening

Edward POV

A heart-wrenching howl of anguish was heard in the distance and Bella tensed. "Jacob," she muttered through her semi-conscious state. I laid her gently on the couch in my room and knelt down next to her, watching her intently. I hated that this was happening to her. She was now going to be damned to the life I had tried so hard to protect her from.

Carlisle's calm demeanor entered through the already open door. "How is she?" he asked, slowly making his way over to us.

"She's about to lose her soul," I hissed. He ignored my statement and examined her carefully.

"The worst is over," he informed me, running his hand across her forehead. "Call me when it's complete." He turned, leaving us alone again.

I took Bella's hand in mine and gently pressed it to my lips, holding it there. I inhaled deeply and could smell Jacob. Confused, I quickly pulled it away so my eyes could focus on her dainty fingers. There was the ring that had once meant she was his. An involuntary growl rumbled in my chest. Then a thought crossed my mind that was much more important than my feelings of jealousy -- Bella.

She was laying peacefully in front of me and I wondered how she was going to react to all of this. When she left me all those days ago, she'd made her choice painfully clear. She loved Jacob. But she also loved me. I hoped she would allow me to replace Jacob's ring with one of my own.

Would she be able to get over him? Would she allow me to love her completely? Would she someday be _my_ wife? Her reaction would determine so much. The anticipation was both exciting and frightening.

She coughed and I again focused on her beautiful face as her dark lashes fluttered open, revealing new burgundy eyes. I gasped.

"Edward?" she croaked.

"Hi."

"What happened?" she asked, clearing her throat.

"Well, what do you remember?" I inquired, leading her to the answers she was seeking. She closed her eyes again as if to replay her last memories over in her mind.

"Victoria!" she screamed in horror. I nodded, verifying she was on the right track. "Jacob?" I looked at her, saying nothing. I wanted -- I needed her to figure this out on her own. "Where's Jacob?" she asked, looking around the room, taking in her surroundings for the first time. Anxiety was building in her eyes. "Edward, where's Jacob? Why am I here?" She coughed again, probably trying to get rid of the burning sensation in the back of her throat. Realization followed by fear flashed across her face. "Edward, am I..." she didn't even finish the question.

"Yes," I whispered, holding my breath as I anticipated her reaction.

"Where is Jacob?" she yelled, jumping to her feet and gracefully heading for the door. I knew I was pressing my luck with her newborn strength, but I had to stop her. I grabbed her around the waist and she turned, looking up at me in surprise. "Let go of me! I have to get to Jacob!" she insisted loudly. I nervously held her closer, feeling her body calm against my touch. I released her, hoping we could now have a rational conversation.

"Bella, you can't..."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do," she shouted, hitting me. When her once fragile fist met my chest, all the air left my lungs with a whoosh. It actually hurt. "I have to get to him. He must be so worried."

_So much for calm and rational, _I thought. "Bella, he knows where you are," I spoke softly, hoping my tone would help her relax.

"What?" she dropped her voice and her eyes. She twisted the ring he had given her around and around on her finger. I took her hand, leading her back to the couch.

"Please sit and I'll explain," I said timidly. She nodded. When we were seated as comfortably as the situation would allow, I began my explanation.

"So you remember Victoria's attack?" I asked.

"Um hum," she mumbled, her eyes searching mine. She cleared her throat and coughed again.

"She changed you."

"I got that much," she snorted in frustration. "Where's Jacob?"

"After you were bitten Jacob brought you here. He asked me to tell you he will _always _love you." It pained me to say those words to her, but she desperately needed to hear them.

"When's he coming back for me?" Her voice cracked as she was beginning to comprehend what was happening. I took her hands in mine and looked deeply in her eyes. It surprised me how beautiful the burgundy appeared. It'd always been disgusting to me before, but these were Bella's eyes and she was -- if it were possible -- more striking than ever.

"Bella," I spoke her name with the utmost reverence, "he's not."

"He left me?" she choked out the words as a sob escaped her body. She buried her face in her hands as her shoulders shuttered with more tearless sobs. "It seems everyone leaves me."

Guilt overwhelmed me as her pain-filled eyes locked on mine and I realized where her assumptions had taken her.

"Bella, no." I pulled her into a hug, inhaling her new scent. She smelled better now than before because for the first time, there was no blood lust accompanying my attraction to her. "It's just not possible for you and Jacob to be together."

"Of course, you'd say that," she hissed. She coughed again, "what is this damn burning in the back of my throat?"

"You're hungry," I explained, chuckling. "Carlisle, can you please come here?" I smiled feebly and continued answering Bella's questions the best I could. "Jacob brought you here because he loves you."

"He left me because he loves me?" she growled. "Now that's original, Edward. So romantic too. That's _never_ happened to me before." Sarcasm oozed from her words, fury consumed her expression.

"It's not..." I stammered.

"It's not like that? Is that what you're going to tell me?" she yelled, her eyes flashed with anger as she narrowed them at me. "Why am I so loveable that the men I adore always up and leave me?" she raged before standing and walking so elegantly toward the window, I lost all concentration. Her body relaxed slightly as she peered out into the nothingness. "Oh, Jacob," she muttered softly, reaching out to touch the glass as if he were standing on the other side with his hand pressed to meet hers.

The door opened and we both turned.

"Hi, Bella."

"Carlisle," she stiffened as she spoke his name, inhaling deeply. He crossed to her, handing her the goblet of red liquid he was holding.

She put her nose to the edge of the glass, smelling the contents as if she didn't already know what it possessed. Her eyes widened and a growl rumbled from her petite form. I watched her closely as the internal battle began between the Bella she wanted to remain and the Bella she was to become.

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**Author's Note: Please REVIEW :) **


	3. Insistence

**Thanks to all of you who take the time to review! I appreciate it. -- Thanks to _not done baking_ for helping with this chapter as well! **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her. **

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Chapter Three - Insistence

Bella POV

The door opened and before I even turned, I knew who had entered the room and what he was carrying. I fought the beast rising against my self control and forced my feet to remain planted, my mind to stay focused -- calm.

"Hi, Bella," he whispered, smiling as I turned around to face him.

"Carlisle," I replied matter-of-factly. My voice sounded colder than I had intended, but an apology just wasn't in me right this second. _I'll apologize later, _I promised myself. Carlisle crossed the room and handed me the goblet he was carrying. I placed my nose to the edge, inhaling the scent, verifying what I already knew. My body's reaction surprised me -- a growl rumbled uncontrollably from my chest.

I now understood what Edward meant when he had called himself a monster. Every ounce of me -- the me I used to be -- wanted to throw the goblet against the wall, but the monster that now possessed me yearned for the warm liquid.

"It's okay, Bella," Edward encouraged gently. I lifted my eyes from the cup and focused on his worried face.

"I got it at the blood bank," Carlisle was trying to assure me.

"It's human?" I choked, as panic threatened to overtake me.

"Bella," Carlisle spoke my name again. My thoughts were spinning and I tried to concentrate, waiting for him to continue. "Take a sip and your mind will clear."

I lifted the crystal to my lips and closed my eyes, preparing to intake the salty liquid my body now desired. I tipped my head back letting it flow into my mouth. I waited for the nausea I was sure would follow. This was blood I was voluntarily drinking and the Bella I used to be was sickened by only the smell of it.

As the fluid reached the back of my throat, I moaned. My body relaxed and I felt satisfied. I wondered if the sensation my body had just experienced was anything similar to that of an alcoholic swigging a shot of the very thing he despised most; yet had no hope of resisting.

I looked up at Edward and felt very embarrassed. I placed the empty glass on the table and melted into the couch, crying tearlessly. Carlisle sat down next to me.

"Bella, it will be okay. We will help you -- all of us." His concern was both sweet and sickening.

I closed my eyes and saw my heartache on the back of my eyelids. I had to speak with Jacob. I couldn't believe that he would just bring me here and walk out of my life without so much as a goodbye.

Carlisle placed his hand on mine and I opened my eyes to look into his face. I needed him to understand how much I meant the words I was going to speak. I cleared my throat, the burning sensation was beginning to return.

"I need to see Jacob," I informed them.

"I'm sorry, that's just not possible," Carlisle regretfully told me, patting my hand.

"And why is it not possible?" I hissed, glaring at Edward. "I am not your prisoner. You can't just kidnap me." The words sounded irrational as they spewed from my mouth and Edward's face crumbled with each insinuation.

"I didn't... Jacob left... You're a..." he stuttered, looking for the correct words to explain the situation.

"Edward, why don't you let me speak with Bella alone," Carlisle suggested. Edward nodded and made his way to the door. He stopped, but I didn't acknowledge his reluctance to leave me.

"Bella, I would never... I love you," he sighed, then the door quietly clicked signaling his departure. I closed my eyes, wanting to cry for the way I'd just hurt him.

_How could I have been so cruel? _I shook my head. "Oh, I'm so..."

"He knows," Carlisle assured me, smiling weakly. "I'm guessing you have a lot of questions." I nodded in response. "Ask whatever you wish. I promise to answer it the best that I can."

"Did Jacob leave me?" The question was painful enough; the answer, I feared, was going to be excruciating.

"He brought you here, yes," he confirmed my worst fear so calmly. "Although, he didn't leave you in the sense you're thinking."

_How else could he have meant it?_ my inner voice commented. "I'm now a monster he could no longer love so he dumped me on your doorstep?" I growled, using the anger instead of the sadness that was consuming me.

Carlisle said nothing, waiting for my next outburst. I stared at his calm, patient eyes and opened my mouth ready to release my tirade. A sob escaped my body instead. He pulled me into a hug and patted my back.

"Jacob loves you very much, Bella," he whispered.

"He loves me enough to leave me?" I asked bitterly, refusing to give in to the pain.

"Bella, do you realize what an impossible situation the pack was in?" he asked, stroking my hair as the sobs continued to ravage my body. "Jacob is a werewolf. You are now a vampire. A newborn vampire, which is the most dangerous kind. This was _very_ difficult for them -- for him. They really had only two choices, Bella."

I pulled away to look in his eyes as he spoke the words I knew were coming.

"One, they had to kill you." I winced at his candor. "Or two, they could bring you to us, knowing we would protect the innocent until you were strong enough to control yourself." He smiled assuredly and continued, "so yes, Bella, he loves you enough to leave you."

I stared at him, internally digesting all that he'd just told me. However, none of it changed my conviction.

"I need to see him," I informed Carlisle, daring him to challenge me.

"Bella, that's not a good idea."

"Carlisle, I need to say my goodbyes."

"Bella, I don't..." he shook his head.

"Please do this for me," I pleaded.

"I'll call and..."

"Can I call?" He again shook his head. "Please?" His head continued to move back and forth, but now it was the 'I can't believe you' shaking instead of protests. He handed me his phone and walked out of the room.

I stared at the silver device in my hand and my stomach felt sick. Was Carlisle right? Or did Jacob just despise me too much now. _Only one way to find out._ I flipped it open, exposing the numbers and slowly pressed the seven buttons that would give me the answers I needed. It rang twice.

"Hello?" I gasped at how comforting his deep voice still was to me. "Hello?" he asked again. I snapped the phone shut as another round of tearless sobs consumed me.

Moments later, the little piece of plastic and metal buzzed in my hand. I recognized the number and carefully unfolded the phone, placing it to my ear, but not saying anything.

"Bella," he whispered.

"Um hum," I murmured softly.

"How are you? I'm sorry I had to leave you the way I did. I just couldn't risk..." he paused.

"You're scared of me?" I choked out, feeling so alone.

"I'm not scared you'll hurt _me_."

"I need to see you." The words rushed out before I could change my mind.

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Jacob, I still love you," I grasped at the very last straw I possessed. If he still loved me at all, he wouldn't refuse.

"Bella..."

"Please, Jacob."

"Can I speak with Edward or Carlisle?" Before he'd even finished the question, I'd begun running down the stairs, shouting for Carlisle. I didn't want to hurt Edward with my request.

"Yes, Bella?" He emerged from the kitchen. The other members of my new family all rushed to see what I was screaming about. I handed the phone to Carlisle without an explanation.

"Hello?" he asked. He was silent as he listened to whatever Jacob was saying. "That would be fine," he replied, smiling at me. He folded the phone closed and panic began to crash down on me once again.

"It's okay," Edward whispered, taking my hand in his. "He's on his way. Come with me."

"Jacob's coming _here_?" I asked, trying to comprehend what had just happened.

"Yes," he verified.

I anticipated Jacob's arms around me and sighed. I missed his touch most of all.

"Come with me," Edward instructed me again. "If you're going to have any control at all when he gets here, you need to come with me _now_." He yanked gently on my hand and I followed him into the kitchen.

I sat numbly at the table as Edward placed another glass with the familiar red liquid in front of me. I looked up questioningly.

"Drink," he insisted, pushing the goblet closer to me. "If you're going to be able to refrain from attacking Jacob, you need to drink this." He smiled, encouragingly.

"Drinking this isn't going to keep me from attacking him," I giggled, raising an eyebrow. I was glad I hadn't lost my sense of humor. Edward however, didn't think it was funny. He rolled his eyes and snorted in disgust.

"Regardless, please drink this," he prodded.

I decided better safe than sorry and tipped the contents down my throat without further protest. My nerves were beginning to get the best of me. I had never felt so scared to see Jacob in my life.

I watched Edward carefully as he reacted to me. My once beating heart hurt for him. But right now, I had to force myself to worry more about me than those around me.

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**Author's Note: Please REVIEW:) **


	4. Realizations

**Thanks to all of my reviewers! -- Also thanks to not done baking and rryn for beta-ing. I appreciate your help very much!!!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.**

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Chapter Four - Realizations 

Jacob POV 

Hearing Bella's broken spirit on the other end of the line was the _only _thing bringing me back to this house. I would do anything for her; even rip my heart out twice. I knocked quietly and waited impatiently, trying to swallow the lump that was clogging my throat. Carlisle opened the door, smiling weakly.

"Please come in," he invited, opening the door wider. I entered, fidgeting nervously. Bella came in from my right and stopped, looking as nervous as I felt.

"Hi," I whispered. She stepped closer to me, looking over her shoulder to make sure she was the only one who had come to meet me.

Jealousy rose up from my gut and I bit back the feeling, concentrating only on the beautiful figure coming toward me. She ran to me, crashing into my arms. I pressed my lips to her head. She smelled horrible. I composed my expression as she pulled away, staring at me with a strange look on her face.

"Jacob, you smell..." she began, wrinkling her nose.

I laughed. "You don't smell so wonderful either," I teased, playing with a lock of her shiny chestnut hair. She smiled, then her face got serious as she asked the question I'd been dreading.

"Jake, did you really..." she paused, taking my hands in hers. She cleared her throat as she attempted the question again, "Did you really leave me?" Her voice cracked. I looked deeply in her eyes, expecting the tears her voice signaled she was feeling. The sadness was there, but they were dry. I lifted her hand, pressing it to my lips just like I'd done hundreds of times.

"Bella, we can't be together now." My heart broke once again as I voiced the words.

"Sure we can," she insisted. "I love you. You love me. That's all that matters. Love can overcome anything."

"Bella, I wish that were true," I told her. She pulled me close, wrapping her arms securely around my waist. She tipped her head toward me. Her hands wove their way up around my neck and started to pull my face to hers. I lowered my lips to meet her and she kissed me fiercely. She pulled away just enough to see my eyes.

"We can make this work," she told me. I wanted to believe her so badly, but every instinct I had told me otherwise.

"Bella," I lifted her into my arms and carried her to the couch. She cradled herself in my arms, nestling her head against my neck. Suddenly I felt her teeth pierce my flesh. I dropped her, grabbing at my neck. "What the hell, Bella?" I yelled.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, wiping my blood away from her lips; her eyes wild.

"You're sorry?" I hissed. "You bit me!" The door from the kitchen burst open and Edward ran into the room. "I got it!" I yelled, never taking my eyes off of Bella's horrified face.

"I'm so sorry," she choked out through her sobs.

"I know you're sorry. I am too." My eyes burned with the tears Bella was no longer capable of shedding. "I promised to protect you and I failed you, Bells. I failed you." A tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly brushed it away. I sat down and patted the space next to me. She hesitantly sunk into the cushions. "Isabella Swan, I love you more than life itself."

"Then why did you leave me?"

"Bella, it is my calling in life to hunt and kill vampires. Every cell in my body is telling me to rip you to shreds right now." Her eyes widened at my harsh words. "I love you too much..." I stopped, rephrasing it so she would understand the whole pack's difficulty with the situation. "_We_ love you too much to kill you. The only other option we had was to bring you here."

She took my hand and lifted it to her face. She stopped, wrinkling her nose.

"You can't even stand the way I smell anymore," I reminded her.

"Your scent used to be such a comfort to me," she said quietly, releasing her grip.

"He loves you." It pained me to say the words to her, but I needed her to let me go. If I never loved again, I'd be okay as long as she was happy. She looked up at me with an agonizing expression.

"I will always love you," she whispered.

"I know. Me too." Her eyes flashed from pain to panic.

"Charlie!" she screamed. "What are you going to tell Charlie?"

"Dad and I will take care of him. I promise." I placed my hand on her knee. "I have to get going." More for myself than anything. Letting her go this time would be much harder. I stood and took her hand. She got to her feet so gracefully -- so differently from_ my_ Bella.

"So you're really going to leave me?" She began taking my ring off of her finger. I quickly grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"Please don't." Her burgundy eyes stared at my hand holding hers. The contrast was scary. Hers was so white, mine brown. Hers cold, mine warm. I lifted her hand and placed it on my neck where she had bitten me. "Bells, I am leaving because I love you." I lifted her chin, she blinked her dark lashes and snaked her hands around the back of my neck, pulling my lips to hers. I sighed, tightening the hold I had on her. She was so much colder than I was used to, but in this moment, she almost felt like my Bella -- almost.

Her lips parted and my body reacted, my mouth opening. I exhaled excitedly, Bella tensed, pulling away.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just really fighting the urge to eat you," she explained, giggling at the double meaning of her words.

"I'd better go then." My heart pounded ferociously. "Let him love you," I asked my final request. I pulled her into one last hug, knowing she was holding her breath. _Edward, _I said mentally, _I'm leaving._

Bella walked me to the door and took my hand.

"I know you're right, but I don't want you to leave." I lifted our intertwined knuckles to my lips, kissing the ring I'd given to her.

"As long as you have this, I'm always with you." I kissed it one last time and turned away from her, reminding myself to breathe. Each step was more painful than the last and I paused for a split second when I heard Bella begin to cry.

I forced myself to ignore the tears on my own cheeks and continued walking away from her forever.

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**Author's Note: Please REVIEW:)**


	5. Memories

**A HUGE thanks to all my reviewers! -- Thanks to not done baking for her help :)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

* * *

**Chapter Five - Memories

Edward POV

_Edward, I'm leaving, _Jacob's voice entered my mind. I waited just out of sight until I heard Bella begin to cry. I cautiously made my way to where she was standing on the porch.

"Bella," I muttered tentatively. She continued to gaze out into the direction of Jacob's exit. I placed my hand softly on her shoulder. She brushed it away, turning to walk back into the house.

"I need to be alone," she informed me. She got to the stairs and stopped, melting to the floor as her sobs once again consumed her. Within seconds, I had her in my arms. She cradled herself into my chest. I carried her back to my room where I sat, holding her close while she whimpered quietly. "I'm sorry," she sniffed. "This can't be easy on you."

"It's okay, Bella," I assured her. "I'm aware that you're going to need some time." She rubbed at her dry cheeks, brushing away the tears that she expected to be there. I smiled.

"Jacob's gone," she said sadly, looking down at her hand.

"I know."

"He left because he loves me." She was convincing herself, not me.

"Yes, he does love you."

"So do you." Relief washed over me as she spoke the words. I wanted so badly to tell her as much, but didn't feel like it was the time. Since she'd said it, I felt confident that I could confirm her statement.

"I do love you, Isabella and I hope that someday you can let me love you completely." It felt so liberating to put a voice to my feelings.

"Someday," she sighed.

"I'll give you some privacy. If you need anything, just say my name and I'll be right here." I kissed her cheek and stood to leave.

"Thank you, Edward."

"I would do anything for you. Bella, please let me love you," I whispered quietly, closing the door behind me.

_How is she? _Alice inquired.

"You tell me," I stated as I entered the living room.

"It will take some time, but eventually she will happily be a Cullen," she said, smiling.

"Does that mean she'll marry me?"

"Someday," Alice confirmed. I let out a sigh of relief. "It won't be easy, Edward. She's going to need a lot of understanding." Jasper shook his head, burying his face in his hands.

"She's in so much pain," Jasper muttered. "I've got to get out of here." He stood, walking out the door. I turned to look at Alice. She smiled hesitantly.

"What do you suggest I do now?"

"You should do everything you can to help Bella remember why she fell in love with you in the first place."

"She just said she knows I love her."

"Sometimes you're so dense, Edward," she laughed. I didn't understand what Alice was getting at. _Think, Edward,_ her thoughts told me. _Bella is very much still in love with Jacob. Although, he's now out of her life forever, she's going to have to forget him. "_You're going to have to be the one who picks up the pieces of her shattered heart -- to heal her."

I nodded slowly, finally understanding her. "I have an idea. Will you help me?"

She closed her eyes as a huge smile spread across her face. "Of course, I'll help," she laughed. "She's going to love it."

I knew in the months to come, I had a lot of work ahead of me. I was going to make Bella forget all about Jacob Black and was going to enjoy it very much.

I sat at the kitchen table -- alone. I wanted to give Bella the time she needed, but I had some questions for her. It had been hours and I couldn't wait any longer. I walked slowly up the stairs and stood staring at the door. I closed my eyes, wishing I could hear her thoughts. I took a deep breath and knocked quietly.

"Who is it?" she mumbled.

"It's Edward. May I come in?" I whispered, knowing that her new vampire hearing would allow her to hear me. The door opened and she stood very still just looking at me. I held out my arms and she ran, melting herself into my chest. She wrapped her arms around my waist and held me tightly. I kissed the top of her head and she pulled away.

"What do you remember about your old life?" I asked quietly.

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"_Who_ do you remember?" I asked specifically. Her face contorted as her mind began processing what little information she'd retained.

"Well, I remember Jacob, but you probably already knew that." I smiled at her, even though I didn't feel much like smiling. "I remember my dad, Charlie and I remember a woman." Her eyebrows narrowed. She closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. "My mom, maybe?"

"Anyone else?" I asked her. Again, her face was stressed searching for anymore information.

After a few moments, she shook her head. "I don't think so. Should I remember someone else?"

"You remember me, right?" I smiled genuinely at her.

"Yeah, you're Fredrick," she stated, her face serious. I glanced at her questioningly.

Her face melted into a huge smile and she laughed. "You are Edward Cullen."

"Yes, I am," I grinned. She leaned into me again.

"I could never forget you, Edward."

"Do you remember the rest of our family?"

"I'm not sure if I actually remembered them or I just know them because they were here when I woke up," she said honestly. "They've been really great."

"They love you, Bella," I paused, reaching up to run my fingers through her hair, "we all do." I leaned down and pressed my lips to her cheek. "Can I ask you another question?"

"Sure, sure," she cringed as she used the words I recognized as Jacob's phrase. I watched her for a split second waiting to see what she needed. She smiled and so I ignored her reaction and proceeded with the question everyone in the household had been dying to know.

"Bella, why did you bite Jacob?"

She swallowed hard and cleared her throat. "When he held me close, I could hear the blood flowing through his veins. I could hear every beat of his heart and it made me crazy." She paused, twirling _his_ ring on her finger. "I now understand what you meant by being a monster." She closed her eyes. "I couldn't help myself." Her shoulders began to shake as her crying began again.

I pulled her into my lap, kissing her head. "Shh…" I told her as she leaned her head into my shoulder. "It's okay, Bella. Everything is going to be fine." I held her close as she cried, wishing there was a way to stop it. She cleared her throat again. "Are you hungry again?"

"I think so," she said quietly, coughing.

"I have an idea." I pulled away to look into her face. "Are you up for an adventure?"

"I guess so," she responded slowly, questioning me with her eyes. I took her by the hand and led her down the stairs and out the door. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"You're hungry, aren't you?" she nodded. "I'm going to teach you to hunt," I informed her with a smile.

"Am I ready for that?"

"I'm assuming you want to be a vegetarian."

"I really like carrots," she giggled. I chuckled along with her.

"Do you want to run?"

"What if I'm still a klutz?"

"There's only one way to find out. Ready?" I asked. She nodded. "Go ahead. I'll keep up with you."

Bella took off running, her beautiful hair blowing in the breeze. I smiled at how elegant she looked. I chuckled, remembering the Bella that would trip over her own feet while she walked on a flat surface. I raced to catch up to her, taking her hand.

"This way," I told her, pulling on her arm. She followed willingly. I led her deeper into the forest, wondering which animal she would prefer. We entered the clearing and she gasped.

"Oh Edward, it's beautiful." She twirled, taking in the whole scene. It wasn't as gorgeous as _our_ meadow, but it was nice. Lush green grass covered the ground and trees provided a canopy around the edge. This was a great place to hunt because of the pond in the center that always contained water.

I led her to the edge and sat down, waiting. A cow elk with her calf cautiously approached the water. I had never noticed before what a pretty animal elk were. Bella inhaled deeply and crouched. It seemed fitting that she would crave the blood of this lovely creature.

"Patience," I instructed her. "Wait until she's not so skittish." Bella nodded as she concentrated on her meal. "Ready?"

"Um hum."

"Go," I whispered, following her out into the clearing. I stood in the background, admiring her ability. She pounced on the calf, sinking her teeth into its flesh. When it stopped moving, she looked up at me. "Drink."

I sat down next to her and waited until she was finished. She wiped her hand across her chin and smiled sheepishly.

"Can I ask you something else?"

"Yes," she looked nervous.

"Did you really think you could overcome the vampire werewolf thing and live happily ever after with Jacob?" As the question left my mouth, it sounded bad. I hoped she would take it the way it was meant. Her lips pulled into a thin line and she closed her eyes.

"I wanted to," she sighed. "As I was pleading with him, I was actually trying to convince myself more than him. The truth is…" she paused, returning her gaze to my face, "he stinks!" She dramatically wrinkled her nose and I laughed. "As much I will always love him," she took my hand in hers, squeezing it, "I know that it would never work."

"You were pretty persuasive," I told her. Jacob's thoughts revealed exactly how convincing she had been. He deliberated every possible option before he finally left her.

Walking away from her had been excruciating for him. I understood exactly how he felt. The day I left Bella in the forest I experienced _very_ similar feelings -- leaving because we loved her.

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**Author's Note: Please REVIEW :)**


	6. CoverUp

**A huge thanks to all of my faithful reviewers! I appreciate your comments. -- Thanks to not done baking for being a great beta!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

* * *

**Chapter Six - CoverUp 

Bella POV

The whole family had been acting strange since I'd awakened to my new life, but the last few days had been especially obnoxious. The most annoying part of their behavior was the whispering. I definitely got the impression that something was going on they didn't want me to know about.

Edward was very reluctant to leave my side and only did so when it was completely necessary. He, Alice and Carlisle left for a couple hours yesterday, but he returned to tell me that everything was going to be just fine.

Today had started out normal enough, but as the sun moved further across the sky, the more and more strange things became. Edward walked into my room and sat down on the chair in the corner. He had searched high and low to find a rocking chair exactly like the one in my childhood room.

He rocked back and forth as he began speaking, "Bella, we all have to go out for a few hours."

"All of you?"

"Well, Jasper will be staying -- just to make sure you're safe."

_Make sure I'm safe? _I thought with a laugh. "Can I ask where you're going?" I had an idea, but wasn't going to ask.

"It's nothing…really." He attempted a pathetic smile that only made my suspicions feel validated. "It's just a meeting in town. I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise." He walked over and placed a sweet, gentle kiss on my cheek. "I love you." He then turned and was gone.

I wasn't ready to tell Edward that I loved him yet. Of course, I loved him. But Jacob still had a very big piece of my heart. I didn't want to encourage Edward until I was ready to fully accept his feelings for me. He had been so patient and I needed him to continue that.

I smiled as I thought of Edward's admiration.

"Hey, Bella!" Jasper exclaimed, bounding through the door. "What would you like to do for fun while they're gone?"

"What did you have in mind?" I asked. I could tell by the twinkling in his eye that he had an idea.

"Well, I was thinking we could play video games. You beat Emmett. I was wondering if you were good enough to beat me," he chuckled.

"You do realize I beat Emmett while I was still _human_, don't you?" I laughed. "I can easily beat you now." His laughter joined mine.

"I think that's a challenge, Bella Cullen."

The use of my new last name came as a shock and my breath left my lungs as if I'd been punched violently in the stomach. I stared at him in disbelief.

"I'm not a Cullen," I hissed.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to offend you." His eyes were apologetic.

I took a deep breath and regretted the way I'd snapped at poor Jasper. "Don't be sorry," I smiled. I began running for the stairs. I loved my new vampire grace and agility. It was something I definitely wasn't used to. "You still up for getting your butt kicked."

"You're on!" He passed me on the staircase heading for the living room; both of us laughing hysterically.

We played video games and just as I predicted, I beat Jasper much more than he beat me. It was fun watching his exasperation as I won over and over.

Suddenly, my feelings began to take a ride on an emotional rollercoaster.

Jasper let out a triumphant, "yes!" and it pulled me out of my thoughts. I realized what he was doing and fought against his attempts by consciously keeping him out of my emotions; which was easier than I had thought it would be.

After a few hours, the rest of the family arrived back at the house. They looked extremely somber and again, my anxiety built in the pit of my stomach. Edward laughed when he saw the look on my face.

"So who's winning?" he asked, a huge fake smile exposed his perfect teeth.

"Bella," Jasper groaned.

"Good!" Emmett laughed. "I'd hate to think she only beat me."

"She wasn't a human when she beat me, Emmett," Jasper reminded him. The room burst out in laughter as Emmett swore under his breath. He stomped off in the direction of his room, pouting.

"Emmett, so she beat you. It's not that big of a deal," Rosalie snorted, following him.

"I don't want to talk about it, Rose," Emmett snarled. The rest of their conversation disappeared as they did.

Alice crossed over to Jasper, taking him by the hand. "Do you mind if I steal him away from you?" She smiled at me.

"Absolutely. Thanks for losing," I teased.

"I want a rematch," he insisted, laughing.

"Whenever you're ready."

Alice and Jasper headed outside. Carlisle walked over to the couch and Esme sat beside him, trying desperately to appear calm. "Bella could we speak with you for a second?" he asked quietly.

"Sure." I shot a questioning glance at Edward. He just smiled and nodded, assuring me that it was okay.

Once we were sitting, Carlisle spoke again. "Do you know where we went today?"

"I have an idea," I told him honestly. No one spoke so I voiced my guess, cringing. "I'm assuming that today was a memorial service of some kind." All three of them, smiled the same pathetic attempt at comfort.

Edward pulled something out of his pocket that resembled a card. He handed it to me. I silently read the words on the front, _In memory of Isabella Marie Swan. _I opened it and rubbed my finger lightly over the program of my final human experience.

"It was beautiful," Esme whispered, as her eyes pleaded for my understanding.

I stared at the faces that were focused on me and found myself at a loss as to what I should do or say. I knew that there would have to be an excuse as to what happened to me, but at the same time, I didn't know how I felt about everyone I loved moving on without me.

"What happened to me?" I asked, again reading through the words. The elegant script told me that Charlie had given the eulogy and Jacob had also spoken.

"You were killed in an automobile accident."

"An accident?" That excuse sounded as good as any I supposed. But… "wouldn't Charlie know that was a lie?"

"Bella," Carlisle spoke my name slowly. I turned to concentrate on what he was going to say. "You forget how good we are at covering up things. Remember how well Alice created the scene of your fall in Phoenix?"

"Yes," I mumbled, looking more through him than at him.

Carlisle cleared his throat and waited until I was again able to listen to him. "Bella, your truck was found burned at the bottom of a ravine between La Push and Forks." He paused, waiting for my reaction. I wanted to ask if a body was found in the remains, but decided I didn't really want to know.

I gulped, blinking a long blink. "And he bought it?"

"Yes," Edward confirmed quietly.

"How is he?" I could only assume he wasn't doing well. He'd lost his only daughter in a fiery crash, suddenly. It felt as though all the air had just been sucked out of the room when I asked the question. All three of them stared at each other, refusing to look at me -- to answer me. "How is he?" I screamed, jumping to my feet.

"Bella, please sit down," Carlisle insisted politely. I stared at them incredulously, narrowing my eyes as the anger threatened to consume me. He took a deep breath. I sat slowly and he began speaking again, "Charlie was going insane with your disappearance. They feared he was on the verge of suicide." I stared at him, trying to understand what he was telling me.

"Did he…"

"No, we…" Edward cut me off. "Carlisle, Alice and I helped him find the wreckage. I explained all he needed to know."

"So he really thinks I'm…dead?" I choked.

"Yes," Edward confirmed. We all sat in silence while I digested this interesting information.

"How did he take it?" I asked.

"He was shocked at first," Carlisle explained.

"I need to see him?"

"NO!" all three of them yelled. My eyes widened at their harsh response.

"Bella, look at how you reacted to seeing Jacob," Edward said softly. "Thankfully, werewolves are immune to venom, but Charlie isn't. We just can't risk it."

"I understand," I told him. I did understand. As much as I wanted to see my father again, I could not take the chance that I might not be able to control myself near him.

Edward couldn't read my mind, I knew, but his nodding head made me wonder. I nodded, soaking in all that I was being told. Carlisle stood and Esme followed his lead.

"If you need anything, just let me know," he whispered.

"I will. Thanks for everything," I muttered. Both of them smiled encouragingly and left without another word.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked quietly, taking a seat next to me.

"Um hum," I nodded slowly. I turned so that I was facing him. He looked into my eyes and I saw the agony I felt. He wrapped his arms around me and for the first time, they were warm, comforting. The feeling reminded me of how Jacob's embrace used to calm me. I snuggled into his shoulder and sighed in relief.

"I'll help you through this," Edward mumbled into my hair, kissing me. "I love you."

"I know."

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**Author's Note: Please REVIEW:) **


	7. Memorial

**Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed! I appreciate your comments very much!!! -- Also, a HUGE thanks to not done baking for your help!**

Author's Note: I know I told you that Jacob was gone b/c I couldn't bear to torture him anymore, but so many of you asked about the memorial service and how everyone was dealing with Bella's death that I too began to really wonder. This is my take on what happened at the funeral. ENJOY!...Oh, and grab a tissue...I needed one.

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places are hers.

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**Chapter Seven - Memorial

Jacob POV

"Are you ready to go?" my father's voice was quiet, echoing the pain I was feeling.

In the world of werewolves, Bella's fate was much worse than if she had actually gone to the great beyond.

"Yeah," I grumbled, running my fingers through my hair. I got to my feet slowly. This was to be my final goodbye to the woman I would love forever.

Sam assured me that there was still the hope of imprinting; but I knew that wasn't possible. I could not ever love anyone as much as I loved _her_.

I carefully loaded my father and his wheelchair into the car and shuffled around to the driver's side. I drove slower than I had in a long time, allowing myself to suffer alone -- well, almost. Thankfully, my father sat very still, staring out the window; saying nothing.

We pulled up in front of the church and Charlie was waiting outside for us. He attempted a smile, but his lips only pulled into a pained, thin line.

"Thank you so much for coming," he whispered, meeting us at the car. He opened Billy's door and shook his hand. "I really need a good friend today."

I quickly got Billy settled in his chair and wheeled him into the church, following Charlie to the front.

"Here," he motioned to the right. "This row is saved for you and the rest of the pallbearers."

I shook my head at the words. The body found in the wreckage was burned beyond all recognition. Because it was Bella's truck, everyone who didn't know better assumed it was her. I cringed at the thought of whom those leeches had stashed in there before setting it ablaze.

After I ran off with Bella, Paul did the first useful thing he'd done that entire day. He grabbed Bella's purse and drove her truck to the garage behind my house, hiding it until we knew what to do with it. The plan was concocted between the Cullens and my dad.

Sam drove the truck to the border and left it with the keys in the ignition. They took care of the rest; showing up at Charlie's yesterday morning informing him, they'd found her.

Today was only supposed to be a memorial service, but now it was a funeral complete with a body. Charlie had pulled all kinds of strings at the morgue to get her body ready for the service today. Everyone in town felt horrible for Chief Swan's loss.

I opened my eyes and began to take in the surroundings. Sitting to the left, was Bella's mother and her husband, Phil. Renee was sniffing quietly into his shoulder. He kept patting the back of her head; doing his best to comfort her.

The church began to fill with people -- some I recognized and others I didn't. Each member of the pack filed passed me, saying nothing. I stared forward, wiping away the tears as they rolled down my cheeks. I decided that staying strong wasn't doing anybody any good. I let them flow freely, brushing them away as needed.

Sitting next to me with his shoulder pressed against mine, Embry stiffened. A low growl rumbled in his chest.

"Dude!" I hissed.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I just didn't expect _them_ to be here." I followed his line of sight to the door at the back. Charlie was just greeting the Cullens. I listened intently to their conversation.

"We're so sorry for your loss," Carlisle spoke reverently.

"She was like a daughter to us," Esme whispered. The big one and the really pretty one stood behind her nodding sadly.

Alice threw her arms around Charlie. "She will be missed so much," Alice muttered. They began making their way up the aisle looking as distraught as the rest of us; the ones who really had lost Bella.

My eyes narrowed as Edward stepped up, taking Charlie by the hand. "I will love her until the day I die," Edward promised. I wondered if Charlie heard the same underlying happiness I did.

I dropped my head in my hands as I remembered my final goodbye to her. I had all but pushed her into his arms.

_Did I really have a choice? _my thoughts growled. I knew there was no other option and I prayed that she would find happiness with Edward -- just not too quickly. That was a completely selfish desire, but I couldn't help what I felt.

Charlie stepped to the front and silence fell upon the group.

"I want to thank you all for coming to show your love for Bella. I know it would mean a lot to her," he paused, wiping a handkerchief along his nose.

I stole another look at the casket that resembled Bella's death and nearly lost control. It was safer to keep my head in my hands. I zoned out as Charlie continued to speak about Bella's life.

The guilt again began to consume me. I had failed Bella. It was my fault that she was dead. I promised to keep her safe and…

"Jacob?" Charlie calling my name brought me back to reality.

"Uh…yes." I looked up to meet his stare.

"It's your turn, Jake," he said quietly, taking the seat in front of me.

I nodded, wiping at my cheeks and nose before standing. My eyes made their way around the room, looking at all the people who had showed up to say their goodbyes.

I cleared my throat and began, "Bella was an amazing girl. I should have been there to save her," I stated my feelings as truthfully as I could without revealing anything I shouldn't. "My heart will always be hers and I just hope that she will find happiness wherever she is." The sobs were threatening so I decided that would have to be good enough. "Goodbye, Bella." I placed my hand on the coffin. "I love you."

I wiped frantically at the tears that wouldn't stay at bay and quickly went back to my seat. I slumped down into the bench and leaned forward, rubbing at my cheeks.

"You okay?" Embry whispered, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Um hum," I grumbled.

The funeral director again stood at the front. "Gentlemen," he muttered authoritatively, looking directly at me and my brothers. We stood, filing passed him and each taking our place around the casket.

I heard Renee let out a sob as we walked slowly down the aisle. I kept my eyes focused on the open doorway and reminded myself to continue walking. Knowing Bella wasn't really inside the box we were carrying didn't make this task any easier for me -- for us.

_My _Bella was dead.

This may not be her literal funeral, but it was certainly a goodbye. We placed the casket in the hearse and I left my brothers to get my dad, who'd wheeled himself out of the church and was waiting patiently.

We both remained silent on the short trip to the cemetery. My thoughts were whirling and I fought against them. I didn't want to revisit my relationship with Bella over and over. I didn't want to think about where she was and never being able to see her again. To hold her. To kiss her.

_Stop it! _I yelled at the part of me that was refusing to cooperate. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, causing my knuckles to turn white.

"Are you okay?" Billy asked quietly.

"Sure, sure," I lied. I most certainly was not okay, but right now was not the time to get into it with him -- with anyone. From this point on I would suffer in silence.

At the cemetery, I stood next to my brothers and prepared to say my final goodbyes. It was nice to be able to have this closure. I would treat this as the ending it was and move on with my life the best I could.

The Cullens walked quietly toward the group. Edward's eyes met mine and he smiled encouragingly at me. One might think he was being arrogant given the circumstances, but I'd learned a lot about the man that was now going to live the life I so desperately wanted.

The handful of people who had come to the cemetery gathered around the hole in the earth. I grabbed tightly onto the silver handle and lifted it, walking slowly to the space where my Bella would rest. A tear rolled down my cheek and I brushed at it with the back of my hand.

We sat the casket on the straps that would eventually lower it into the ground and backed away. One at a time, my brothers placed their boutonnieres on top, muttering their goodbyes and wiping at their own tears. They were using this as closure just as I was.

Then it was my turn. I took the pin off the red rose and pressed it to my lips. I laid it carefully on top and leaned over the casket. I knew that everyone was watching, but I didn't really care. I needed to do this. I needed to say goodbye.

"Goodbye, my love. I will forever cherish our time together." I brushed the tear from my cheek and cleared the lump that was making it hard to breath. "Please be happy," I begged her, knowing that Cullen was hearing my every word. I wondered if he would tell her what I'd said. "I love you, Bella Swan."

I turned and quickly took the seat next to my father, burying my head in my hands; allowing the tears to flow down my cheeks.

I didn't pay attention to what happened next. All I knew was that Bella was officially dead to me. It had to be this way. I hated that she was gone; hated that I hadn't protected her. I jumped when I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see that the crowd had dissipated and Billy talking with Charlie over under a tree.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered.

"Thank you," I responded, standing.

"I will take good care of her," he assured me.

"I know," I said as I bit back a growl. I wanted to hate him. To tear him to shreds. But this wasn't his fault. It was mine.

"She's having a difficult time letting go of you," Edward confided. It was hard for him to tell me such a thing.

I stared at him, not sure how to respond. I was having a difficult time letting go of her too.

"I want to you know that I will spend the rest of forever trying to make her happy."

"That's all I want…is for her to be happy," my voice cracked pathetically and I hated that I was showing my vulnerability to him -- my enemy.

"I know." His face took on an even more serious expression as he began speaking again, "I wish you only the best, Jacob Black." He stuck out his right hand.

I took it, shaking it. "Thank you." I attempted a smile. "Would you believe that is what I wish for you?"

He chuckled, "yes, I would."

Still holding his hand, I pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his left hand over my shoulders, patting my back. "Please love her," I begged him quietly, "and never hurt her. She's been through so much…" I paused gathering my thoughts. "I couldn't bear knowing…" my voice cracked. I cleared my throat, "Edward, be good to her."

"I promise," he whispered.

My tears began to flow again and I sniffed. "Ugh, you stink," I accused, wrinkling my nose and pulling away from him.

"You do too," he laughed. "Goodbye, Jacob." He slapped me on the back as he rejoined his family who were making their way back toward their vehicles.

_Goodbye, Edward, _I said in my thoughts, knowing he would hear me. "Goodbye, Bella."

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	8. Surprises

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Author's Note: You're getting this chapter quickly because it was the original chapter 7 and it was ready to go. ENJOY!

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Chapter Eight - Surprises 

Bella POV

Carlisle felt it was important for Edward to be seen around town to keep up the facade. He had been instructed to remember that he was mourning my death and I have no doubt that he was convincing. He was Edward after all and was good at everything.

I never saw his sadness, however. Every time his eyes met mine, a smile would spread across his face with his eyes twinkling brightly.

He and Alice walked through the door from school and they were both laughing.

"Good day?" I inquired.

"It was alright," Edward told me. "It's much better now." He winked, walking over to me. He placed his hand on the back of my neck and kissed me on the cheek. "I love you," he whispered.

"I know." This had become our thing these last few weeks. I opened the door for him to express his feelings and he was now taking every chance he could to declare his love for me. I didn't mind too much. On some level, I did love him. Eventually, I hoped, I would love him completely again.

"Bella?" Edward was staring at me. "Are you okay?" I focused on his face and smiled. "It's moments like this I really hate that I can't read your thoughts," he mumbled bitterly. A human wouldn't have heard him and I suddenly wondered how much I'd missed in our previous relationship.

"Sorry. I was just thinking."

"Can I ask what about?" his voice and face asked the same question. I felt very embarrassed because _he'd _been the thing on my mind.

I grinned shyly. "I'm going to plead the fifth on that."

He laughed, raising an eyebrow. His reaction revealed his thoughts, but he left it alone. I was grateful for that. His beautiful expression changed as Carlisle entered the room.

"Would you mind coming into the dining room?" he asked. Panic began to rise from the pit of my stomach. Edward took my hand.

"It's actually very good news," he comforted me. He turned to Carlisle. "We'll be right in." Carlisle nodded and was gone. I turned, facing Edward and questioned him with my eyes. "Don't worry." He gently threaded my arm through his and led me slowly toward the meeting. "Are you ready to leave Forks?" he asked softly as he pulled out the chair next to his.

I sat down, watching Carlisle's expression for any sign that I should worry. He smiled warmly at me. "Well, I think it's time for us to begin leaving Forks," he began. "Are you okay with that, Bella?"

I stared dumbly at the five pairs of eyes studying me. I nodded slowly, blinking. Everyone returned their eyes to Carlisle's face as he started discussing what should happen next.

"I think some of us should stay for another month or so." He paused. "Alice, Jasper and Esme," he smiled lovingly at her when he said her name, "I'd like you to stay behind. Alice should remain in school and Jasper, you need to remember that you're supposed to be away at college." Jasper nodded.

"Aren't people going to wonder why only you and Edward left?" Alice asked.

"If anyone asks, you should tell them that Edward didn't handle Bella's death very well and had to get away from all the memories," Carlisle explained. "After a few months, you can begin telling people that you're all coming to join us."

"When are we leaving?" I muttered.

"We'll leave tomorrow," he said, turning slightly to Edward as a private conversation was happening between them. I made a mental note to ask Edward what he was saying. "Edward, Bella, pack whatever you want to take."

"Okay," we responded in unison.

"Very good," he stated as he stood, leaving the table.

Edward looked at Alice and smiled. I narrowed my eyes at them. I hated the private conversations that occurred in this house. It was just rude!

Edward smiled brightly at me. "Bella, would you mind hanging out with Jasper for a little while?"

"I've been hanging out with him all day," I smiled at Jasper, "I guess a little while longer won't hurt."

"Gee, thanks, Bella," Jasper snorted.

"No problem. I haven't beat you at your video game today," I challenged, laughing. Jasper jumped from the table and ran to the living room.

"You coming?" he hollered. Alice and Edward joined my laughter.

"You're sure in a hurry to lose," I yelled, heading toward him. I looked over my shoulder, catching one more glance at Edward. He winked as the door closed.

My mind was not on what I was doing this afternoon. Jasper easily beat me over and over again. He hooted and celebrated with each victory, which made me giggle.

"You're not even trying," he grumbled.

"Of course I am," I lied. I couldn't get my thoughts away from where Edward and Alice had snuck off to. I was sure it had something to do with me and tonight being our last night in Forks.

The sun was beginning to set and I listened intently for Edward's return. I closed my eyes and Jasper snorted.

"Fine. One more game and I promise to beat you," I raised an eyebrow and smiled.

The sound of explosions soon filled the room. Jasper was frantically jerking the controller from one side to another as if it would help the people on the screen react faster -- better. I found myself laughing at his ridiculous tactics.

The door opened and for the second time today, Edward and Alice glided into the house. Alice laughed as Jasper swore.

"Did she beat you again?" Alice giggled.

"Dammit, Bella," Jasper roared in frustration, "how do you do that?"

"I'm just good, I guess," I teased. Alice and Edward laughed as Jasper cursed under his breath.

Edward walked over to my side and whispered low in my ear, "are you ready for your surprise?"

"Surprise?" I choked, feeling a tad nervous. Edward was grinning a little too much for my comfort.

He kissed my cheek gently and winked at Alice. "Let's go." He took my hand in his and began tugging me toward the door. "We're going to run again. Is that okay with you?" his voice was soft, sexy.

I gulped, trying to dislodge the lump that had unexpectedly appeared in my throat. I nodded because the words wouldn't come out.

I followed Edward as he ran through the forest. He stopped abruptly and I ran right into the back of him. He laughed, turning around and pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. I was sure, if I'd still been human, it would have broken me.

He placed his lips right under my ear, letting them barely graze my skin. My whole body tingled at his touch. "I love you, Bella."

"I know," I whispered. His lips made contact with my flesh and I shuddered.

Edward laughed, "I haven't lost my touch."

"Confident, aren't we?" I snorted, pretending to be disgusted.

His only response was a trail of kisses that went from just under my ear along my cheekbone, stopping short of my lips. He pulled away and gazed into my eyes. "I'm hoping that after tonight, you'll remember how much you used to love me." He smiled. "Do you recognize where we are?"

For the first time, I looked around. It didn't seem familiar, which bothered me. From Edward's tone, it sounded as though it were somewhere very important to us. I frowned, shaking my head.

"I'm sorry, this isn't familiar to me."

"Come on." He took me by the hand. "Squeeze my hand when you can see something."

His comment confused me. I wasn't sure what he wanted me to see. I narrowed my eyes, straining to catch a glimpse of anything at all. We continued walking slowly. Edward held tightly to my hand.

Off in the distance I could see lights -- thousands of them. I stopped, looking up at Edward who was already gazing at me, smiling coyly.

"You did this," it wasn't a question. He tugged on my hand, leading me to the twinkling that was illuminating the area ahead. We walked a little further until the lights began to take on their full effect.

We slowly made our way out from under the trees, entering our meadow. I raised my hand to cover my mouth as I gasped. "Edward, it's gorgeous!" I looked up into his face.

"You like it?"

"How could I not?" I let my eyes wander again. I noticed a blanket spread out on the ground at the opposite end.

Edward surprised me when he scooped me into his arms and carried me to the awaiting blanket. He sat me down gently. "Wait right here," he instructed me. I smiled and nodded. He ran over behind a tree and emerged holding blood red roses and a picnic basket.

I tipped my head to the side in disbelief of how romantic he was making our last night in Forks. Suddenly a flash of memory revealed that I didn't like gifts much; especially if they were from Edward. I couldn't remember, however, why.

He smiled widely as he sat next to me. "These are for you," he said softly, stretching forth the hand that held the flowers.

"Thank you," I muttered, sniffing their heavenly scent. "Did you forget that I'm not a big fan of gifts?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I didn't forget, but I was hoping you had," he chuckled nervously. He locked his eyes on mine. They were twinkling almost as brightly as the Christmas lights strewn in the trees. His grin spread and he laughed.

"What?"

"It's just that I was really looking forward to spoiling you." He winked. "Of all the things for you to remember." He took my hand in his, pressing it to his lips.

Goosebumps covered my body as it reacted to his touch. I cleared my throat, trying to break the mood that was beginning to make me uncomfortable. It felt like I was betraying Jacob somehow. My mind knew it was ridiculous, but my heart…

"Um," I paused, staring at nothing in particular to avoid Edward's eyes.

"Yes?" he asked, encouraging me to continue.

Hearing his velvet voice drew my eyes to meet his. I cursed myself the moment they did. I saw unadulterated love in them and now felt guilty for not being able to give my heart completely to him.

"Bella, are you okay?" I cleared my throat again, my brain racing to find any excuse for my silence. Leave it to Edward to rescue me. "Are you thirsty?"

I nodded, unable to say anything.

He smiled and reached into the basket, pulling out two beautiful goblets. I raised my eyebrows smiling. Next, he revealed a wine bottle.

"Do vampires enjoy wine?" I asked, confused.

"Silly Bella." He laughed. "I assure you, there is no alcohol in this bottle. However, its contents are certainly intoxicating." He poured some red liquid into my glass and then filled his own. He swirled it and held it up to his nose, much the same as I'd seen people do with wine.

"To the future," he whispered, holding out his goblet.

"To the future," I repeated. I put my glass up to meet his and heard the soft clink.

Everything to this point had been so fantastic and perfect; that was until Edward placed a glass full of blood in my hand. As soon as he lifted his to his lips, I devoured mine sloppily; the liquid dribbling down my chin. I groaned with embarrassment.

His hand brushed gently at my face. "It's okay, Bella," he whispered, "you'll learn control eventually. I will be here every step of the way."

I smiled, feeling mortified. He leaned back on his elbows with his legs outstretched in front of him, crossed at the ankles. I slid over slightly to be closer to him.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered.

"I know," I replied, avoiding his beautiful eyes. He took my hand and against what my brain was saying, my eyes met his.

Another memory flashed through my mind. I closed my eyes in hopes of understanding it better. I saw us in this very spot. It was during the day. Edward didn't have a shirt on and he was sparkling. He looked absolutely breathtaking.

Something inside me stirred and I opened my eyes to see Edward concentrating on me. "You okay?"

"I remember," I told him.

"What do you remember, love?"

"I remember when you brought me here before," I glanced around again at the scenery. I remembered this meadow when Edward had taken me hunting, but now everything else associated with this spot reminded me of how I once felt about Edward. "This was _our _place -- our special place." My body began to react to all the memories that were flooding my thoughts.

"Yes," he confirmed, pausing to let me contemplate this new information. After a few minutes, he spoke again, "do you remember anything else?"

My mind was swirling as I considered all the feelings I had in that moment so long ago. I finally allowed my gaze to return to his face. He was smiling lovingly at me. I mulled his question over and over in my mind. What else did I remember?

I remembered all the love we shared.

That day seemed like an eternity ago. I would have given anything to be with him back then.

Tonight, that option was sitting in front of me again. He wanted nothing more than for me to love him; at least that's what he said.

But what happens when he gets tired of me or I prove to be not at all what he wants anymore. What if…

I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply, trying to avoid the anxiety building in my stomach.

What if he left me again?

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	9. Declaration

**Thanks again for all the support! -- Thanks to not done baking for beta-ing! **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

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**Chapter Nine - Declaration

Edward POV

"I remember when you brought me here before," she whispered. Her eyes glanced around, taking in everything around us. "This was _our_ place -- our special place." I felt as though I could fly when the memories began to come back to her.

"Yes," I replied calmly. I waited a few minutes, watching her closely. "Do you remember anything else?" A smile spread across my face as I gazed into her beautiful burgundy eyes. She was avoiding my eyes, but I was still able to see hers as she took in our surroundings.

The seconds turned into minutes of silence as Bella sat there saying nothing. I hated that I couldn't read her thoughts. The longer she was quiet, the more nervous I became.

I let my own mind wander. I studied every feature of the new Bella -- the one I hoped would love only me one day. It felt as though I were on some kind of emotional rollercoaster.

I was elated that she now allowed me to tell her I loved it, but it killed me that her only response was, 'I know'. Did she still love me? Could she ever let me into her heart? Would she ever forget Jacob?

I'd had enough of this unbearable silence and rolled over onto my side, leaning my head on my hand. My movement seemed to have brought Bella out of her reverie. I reached out and placed my other hand on top of hers.

"I love you, Isabella."

"I know," came her usual quiet response.

I was usually very patient, but when it came to Bella's love, I didn't want to wait anymore. I was going to lay all my cards out on the table and see where it got me. I was walking a thin line between wearing my heart on my sleeve and pushing Bella too far, too fast.

I took a deep breath. _Now or never,_ I thought. "Bella, leaving you was the biggest mistake of my whole existence," I began. Her eyes slowly made their way to mine. I smiled, pouring all my feelings into it. "I will spend the rest of forever making it up to you." She blinked, but otherwise remained motionless.

I sat up and leaned in toward her. I stood, lifting her to her feet. I pulled her into my arms, inhaling her new intoxicating smell. "I am never going to let go of you again," I whispered in her ear. I pressed my lips to her neck and she shuddered, melting her body against mine.

Responding to her, I kissed up her neck, along her jawbone and finally our lips were together. She sighed and for the first time, I was able to let my tongue explore the perfection that was Bella. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled herself closer to me.

"Oh, Edward," she muttered softly.

"Please let me love you," I pleaded. She pulled away looking deeply in my eyes.

"I can't." She wiggled out of my grip, turning her back to me. Her shoulders shook as she began crying.

"Don't cry," I reached out for her shoulders, hesitating momentarily. Her delicate hand moved up to cover mine. "What did I do?"

I waited through her quiet musings, until she turned, staring at me incredulously. "You left me," she reminded me coldly; her eyes were as flat as her tone.

"Bella, I…"

She disappeared from in front of me. Panic began to consume me in the seconds it took for me to spot her beautiful figure directly across the clearing.

"Bella, I need you to listen to me," I implored. She was frozen where she stood. I inched my way to her. When I was finally close enough to touch her, I reached out taking her by the shoulders. Soft sobs were coming from deep in her chest.

I pressed myself to her back, holding her tightly. My lips touched her head.

"I will never leave you again. Don't you understand that?" I turned her so she was facing me. Her eyes were desperate. "I need you." She tipped her head slightly, pleading for me to convince her. "I can't leave you; even if I wanted to." I kissed her softly. "Bella, I _need _you -- desperately. I want to spoil you, give you your heart's desire," I paused, kissing her again, "to love you."

I let all the emotion of the moment consume us, pressing my lips to hers passionately. She allowed herself for the first time to completely lose herself in me. "I love you too," she muttered so quietly I barely heard it and was sure I wasn't meant to.

I lifted her into my arms. She cradled into my chest and laid her head on my shoulder. I returned to the blanket and sat down with her in my lap. She twisted so she could look into my eyes.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"I _need_ to feel that love. As much as I want to give in, I can't. What if one day you wake up and don't love me anymore? What if you did decide to leave me again? What if…"

I stopped her worrying by placing my finger on her lips.

"Bella, my love," I replaced my finger with my lips, kissing her sweetly, "I will spend every second of every day for the rest of eternity convincing you of my feelings." I kissed her. "I love you."

"I want so badly to believe you," she muttered. "I _need_ to believe you."

"Promise me, you'll let me make it up to you," I pleaded.

"I…" her head jerked to the side. She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. She shook her head, returning her gaze to my face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I…" she stopped again. "I'm sorry."

"Take whatever time you need. I will be at your side -- loving you."

"Thank you." She leaned into me again and I ran my fingers through her hair. I could hold her like this forever and hoped that she would let me.

We sat in silence, holding each other as the moon moved across the sky and the beautiful oranges and reds of morning began lighting our surroundings.

"Bella?"

"Um hum," she replied dreamily.

"We should probably head for home. Carlisle wanted to get out of here early."

"Just another minute." She got to her feet and slowly walked around the perimeter of the meadow. When she returned to my side, she took me by the hand. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Let's go."

Bella POV

Edward was kind enough to let me set the pace. I wanted to remember everything about this place and all the memories it held.

The journey back allowed me time to sort it all out. My feelings were in turmoil. For a second, I thought I smelt Jacob; his scent that now reeked, but once had been my only source of comfort. He wasn't really there though, and a second sniff verified that fact. I was going to drive myself insane if I didn't let go.

My heart belonged to a man I could never have.

I replayed my last conversation with Jacob over in my mind. _Let him love you, _Jacob had asked of me. I promised him I would. But could I really give up on Jacob?

I returned my thoughts to Edward and his promises. I wanted to believe him. It seemed that the fate I assumed wanted me to be with Jacob had now changed the plan. Edward was here. He loved me.

I wanted to let him. And I hoped with time, I would.

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	10. Leaving

Thank you to all of my readers...and reviewers! -- And thanks to not done baking for beta-ing!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Chapter Ten - Leaving 

Edward POV 

I walked into the house with Bella at my side; exactly where I wanted her for the rest of forever.

"Oh Bella, I'm going to miss you so much," Alice flitted over to us, wrapping Bella in a hug.

"We'll see them in a month or so," Jasper reminded her, rolling his eyes.

Alice handed Bella a present and Bella scoffed, "Was _everyone _hoping I would forget about not liking gifts?"

"Bella, please," Alice whined, pushing the little white box with the big red ribbon into her hands.

Bella looked up at me for help and I smiled. "I have a feeling you'll like it." She shook her head, but slowly began pulling on the ribbon. She opened the box and a confused expression spread across her face. Her beautiful long fingers lifted the tiny silver phone out of the box, examining it.

"Uh…thanks, Alice."

Bella's confusion only added to Alice's satisfaction. "It's a phone," she giggled.

"I know that, Alice. I'm just wondering who on earth I'd possibly need to call."

Jasper and I understood exactly who Alice was wanting Bella to call, but neither of us ruined Alice's fun.

Until Bella's eyes met mine, pleading for answers. "Now that you're a Cullen…"

"She's not…" Jasper defended.

"I'm okay," Bella soothed. Alice and I looked at each other, obviously missing some inside information. I listened to Jasper's thoughts for answers, but he was reciting the Declaration of Independence to hide them. "Now that I'm a Cullen…" she encouraged me to continue.

"We have to be able to be reached at a moment's notice. We all have phones to keep in contact," Alice gushed. "You're my sister." She was practically dancing. "You can call me whenever you want," she explained, her smile widening.

"Oh," Bella sighed, looking down at the phone in her hand.

"I already programmed everyone's numbers in there for you. I hope you don't mind."

"Thank you, Alice." Bella smiled, pressing numbers. She started giggling and shook her head, looking up to grin at Alice.

"What's so funny, love?" I asked her, now I was the one who was confused.

"It seems Alice has programmed my speed dial too."

"Really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at Alice, who smiled.

"Yes," Bella confirmed, "and it seems that she's placed herself on the top of the list." Both of them giggled.

"You don't need to call me, love…" I reminded her, "you'll be with me." I leaned toward her, kissing her just below her ear. "Forever."

She sighed and I smiled.

"Thanks again, Alice." Her eyes wandered back down to the phone in her hand. "I will repay you as soon as I can," she promised.

"Bella, you're one of us now. What's ours is yours. There's nothing to repay."

"Still, I'd rather…"

"Are you ready to go?" Carlisle's voice came from behind us.

"I guess so," Bella sighed, turning to face him. Alice pulled her into another hug and kissed her cheek.

"We will join you as soon as we can," she giggled. "But we'll talk every day."

"Every day," Bella agreed, holding up her new cell phone.

"Get your things, I'd like to get on the road within the hour," Carlisle prodded us. I took Bella by the hand and we headed to our room to gather what little we had packed.

I loved watching this new graceful Bella. Her beauty was now amplified, making it hard for me to resist taking her in my arms and never letting her leave them.

As they always did these days, my thoughts questioned whether or not she would actually give her heart to me completely. _Would Jacob Black forever haunt us? _I closed my eyes and focused on the future _I_ hoped to have with her. I envisioned her loving me the way she used to. Her wrapping her arms around me and pressing her petite, beautiful body against mine and finally being able to kiss her as I'd never been allowed before. I jumped, my eyes flying open at her soft touch.

"What are you smiling at?" she giggled.

"I was just thinking," I purposely kept my response vague.

"About?" she asked, refusing to let me off that easily.

"Can I plead the fifth?" I raised an eyebrow, my smile widening. She laughed and I knew that she realized it was her, just as she was thinking of me when she'd pled the fifth with me the other day.

"Only the guilty plead the fifth," she informed me, staring me down like the police would a criminal during interrogation.

"So what is it that I'm guilty of?" I chuckled, standing up and wrapping my arms around her tiny waist.

Her laughter filled the room. I lowered my head to her lips and kissed her lightly. Her arms snaked their way to the back of my neck and she pulled my face to her. Her body melted against mine and I kissed her with as much passion as I dared.

She was still very cautious around me and I didn't want to push her faster than she was ready. She was calling the shots and I had no choice but to let her.

"I would say you're guilty of theft," she muttered when our lips were no longer in contact. She didn't pull away though, so I held her tightly.

"Theft, huh?" I chuckled. I wondered what exactly she thought I'd stolen.

"Yes," she slapped playfully at my chest. "You just stole that kiss," she narrowed her eyes, faking a glare.

"You didn't fight it," I reminded her.

"You dazzled me," she retorted.

"I did no such thing. In fact, truth be told, _you _dazzled _me_," I was enjoying our little banter very much. She was playing along and I could feel the walls beginning to come down a bit. At least she was reveling in my touch -- my kisses.

"So what were you thinking about?" she asked again, hoping for a different response.

"You," I said honestly. "I was thinking about the future I hope you'll let me give you."

"Oh," she murmured softly, pulling away. I cursed myself for crossing the imaginary line that Bella had drawn; the one only she could see.

"I'm sorry," I stammered, releasing the remainder of my grip on her. I took a step backward, smiling weakly at her.

"No, I'm sorry. It's just that I…" her eyes dropped to her hands as one twisted the ring on the other.

"You still love him," I finished the sentence she couldn't.

"I'm trying to move on," her voice broke. I wanted so badly to comfort her. To wrap her protectively in my embrace and shield her from all the hurt -- all her sadness. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, fighting against my instincts.

I heard her move slightly away from me and opened my eyes to see her gliding toward the window. I took another breath, composing myself for the conversation ahead before joining her at the window.

"I know you're trying, love." I placed a hand on her shoulder. She tilted her head into my touch. "Just tell me what you need and I'll do everything in my power to make it happen."

"I'm just so confused right now," she sighed. "You've been absolutely wonderful -- so patient." She leaned back into me and my breath caught in my throat.

_Edward, it's time, _Carlisle's voice entered my head. I groaned involuntarily at his interruption, which startled Bella.

She whipped around to face me. "What's wrong?" her eyes were panicked.

"Nothing's _wrong_," I smiled, taking her hands in mine. "Carlisle says it's time to go."

"Okay." She looked at our hands. "Thank you, Edward," she muttered, pulling me into a hug.

Bella POV 

Standing in Edward's arms felt so comfortable. So natural. So perfect. I closed my eyes and inhaled his intoxicating scent. It was even more attractive to me now -- more intense somehow.

His lips pressed lightly to the top of my head and every cell in my body tingled. "Come on, love," his grip loosened slightly, "Carlisle's waiting for us."

He grabbed the bags and I followed him down the stairs to our awaiting family minus Emmett and Rosalie, who left a couple weeks ago for another honeymoon. They said they'd join us in a month or so.

Esme approached me first, pulling me into a hug. "I will miss you so much," she whispered. "We'll be with you again soon enough."

"I'll miss you too," I muttered as she passed me to Alice.

"Don't forget to call every day," she reminded me.

"I won't forget," I giggled.

Jasper grabbed me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, leaning his head down on top of mine. "See ya, little sister," he chuckled. "I'm going to practice so that I can kick your butt next time we play."

"I'll be waiting," I laughed.

I stood at the door waiting for Edward to make his way down the line and he joined me while Carlisle said his goodbyes. He started with Alice, then Jasper and when he got to Esme, I felt like I was spying, encroaching on a private moment.

"I will miss you," Esme choked out, her eyes sad. Carlisle wrapped his arms securely around her and held her tightly. She leaned her head against his chest and sighed.

"I love you," Carlisle whispered against her cheek before placing a kiss there. He then pressed his lips to hers and gave her the most passionate kiss I'd ever witnessed.

I turned into Edward's shoulder, embarrassed. He chuckled at my reaction and led me outside onto the porch. "Try hearing their thoughts," he whispered in my ear.

"I'd rather not," I assured him.

Waiting for us in the driveway was Edward's Volvo and Carlisle's Mercedes. Edward walked over throwing our stuff in the trunk and slammed it closed.

He walked around and opened my door. I lowered myself into the passenger seat and looked around, memorizing everything about this place. Edward was sitting next to me before I even realized he'd gotten into the car.

He started the engine and I searched for Carlisle. He was giving Esme one more goodbye kiss and then shaking Jasper's hand, he instructed, "Take care of her, son."

"I will," he promised.

I waved goodbye to my family as we pulled out following Carlisle; leaving behind Bella Swan.

I was now Bella Dwyer.

As I sat there next to Edward, holding his hand, I had just made a very important decision about my future -- our future. I wanted to give my heart to him someday. But first, I had to get over the hurt of losing Jacob. More importantly, I needed to get over my fear of Edward leaving me again. And then… I smiled to myself.

And then, I would become Isabella Cullen the day I married Edward. The day I took _his _name.

* * *

VERY IMPORTANT Author's Note: There's been some question about why Bella chose the name of Dwyer. If you'll remember, Dwyer is her mother's (and Phil's) last name. As she weighed her options... a) Swan. Everyone thinks Bella SWAN is dead. b) Cullen. She didn't want to use that until she was Edward's wife. c) Hale. She looks absolutely nothing like Jasper and Rosalie. d) Black. As much as the myself and the rest of my devoted Jacob readers would like her to use this, she can't. It would hurt Edward too much. So...in lieu of choosing some totally random name, she went with her mother's last name. I hope that clears things up. Any more questions, ask :)

to my anonymous reader Nichole...are you still out there?


	11. Ride

Thanks to all of you who are reading...and reviewing...my story!! -- a HUGE thanks to not done baking for beta-ing!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Chapter 11 - Ride 

Edward POV

"Where are we going exactly?" Bella asked quietly from beside me.

"Do you have a preference?" I smiled.

"Somewhere _safe_," she stressed the last word. It wasn't her safety she was worried about. I pressed her hand to my lips.

"How does Alaska sound?"

"Aren't there people in Alaska?" her voice was full of anxiety.

"Bella, it will be just fine," I assured her. She sighed and turned to stare out the window at the passing scenery.

Deep down I was a little nervous as to how she was going to react to our arrangement. Carlisle insisted it was best for me to be alone with Bella -- for me to teach her. Of course, I wasn't going to complain. The thought of having her all to myself warmed my cold, dead heart. But I feared that she would protest.

I concentrated on the taillights ahead of me; the ones that belonged to Carlisle, trying not to think of Bella's potential reaction.

The drive had gone relatively smooth. The only thing that had caused any kind of anxiety was the voice in my own head -- my inner voice. I worried a great deal about Bella. For Bella. _If these next few months didn't go well…_ I shuddered at the thought.

"Are you okay, Edward?" Bella's sweet voice questioned.

I took her hand in mine, squeezing it gently. "With you in my life," I pressed her hand to my lips, "I will _always_ be okay." I smiled, attempting to dazzle her.

She laughed, "Stop it." Her smile faded and she turned in the seat to face me. "Edward?"

"Yes."

"I'd like to hear about my funeral," she muttered softly.

"Anything specific?" my stomach lurched at knowing exactly what or should I say whom, she was asking about.

Her fingers fumbled with his ring again while she formed the question in her head. "Is Ja-…" she choked. She cleared her throat and began again, "Is Jacob okay?"

"Bella."

"Please, Edward."

I sat quiet for just a moment, my mind reeling with what I should tell her. I decided on the truth. "Jacob is really hurting, but he's more worried about you." I paused, watching her closely. "He only wants you to be happy."

She nodded slowly, but kept her eyes away from mine.

"Bella, he practically begged me to take care of you forever -- to love you."

"He asked you to love me?" her voice cracked.

"Yes, not that it will be a hard request to grant," I smiled. She reluctantly lifted her eyes to meet mine.

"So he just gave up on me?" I could hear the anguish in her question. I wanted nothing more than to take that pain away. "He doesn't lo-…"

"Bella, don't." I stared at her. Telling her of another man's love for her made my insides writhe with distress, but she was hurting and I needed to take her pain away. "He _does _love you very much. It's just that you can't be together," I paused, "because of what happened. He asked me to love you and take care of you because he _can't,_ not because he doesn't want to. There's a difference, love. A huge difference."

"I know. It's just…"

"Your heart will mend and I will be here when it does. I promise you that I will move our relationship along only as fast as you're ready to. You set the pace," I sighed deeply. "I only hope you still want to have a relationship with me." I unleashed the intensity of my gaze on her, dazzling her. "Please love me, Bella. Please." I sounded so pitiful begging with her to be mine, but I would do anything to convince her to give into the feelings I knew were there beneath all the hurt and confusion.

We sat in silence, lost in thought, for the rest of our trip. I hoped that I hadn't pushed her too much.

We pulled up in front of the house where our family would reside. Bella stared around at the other houses, some of which had lights on, and looked at me, panicked.

"Just wait. Carlisle will explain," I told her. She nodded and stared out the window.

The door opened and a draft of cold air flooded the vehicle. Carlisle jumped into the back seat and I began driving slowly toward the coast as he explained to Bella what was going to happen.

"Edward is going to take you to a secluded area and help you get used to your need for blood," he explained. Bella's eyes widened and she glanced at me and then turned to face Carlisle. He continued, "As you get stronger, he'll bring you to see us in Nome."

"Why can't we all…"

"Bella, we've found it easier if only one person helps in the beginning."

"Oh, I want to do whatever's easiest," she sounded skeptical. I feared she thought this was my doing. Things had gone so well before leaving the house. But when Bella's thoughts ventured into the dangerous territory of Jacob Black, everything changed.

She was quiet -- distant -- as I loaded our stuff onto the row boat waiting for us. "Ready?" I nudged her gently out of her thoughts.

"Yeah."

"Alright, then. We'll see you when we can." Carlisle smiled, wrapping Bella in a fatherly embrace. "You take care of yourself. Listen to Edward, he'll help you."

"Will you come visit?"

"Yes. As soon as the rest of them get here in a month or so, we'll come see you."

"A month?" she gulped.

Carlisle chuckled. "Time will go faster now. It won't seem like that long. Trust me, Bella, you will need the time to concentrate on nothing more than gaining control of yourself."

She nodded, reluctant to believe him. He kissed her forehead and passed her over to me. I put my arm around her waist and pulled her as close as I dared. He smiled at her and asked her a very important question. "Bella, I need to know what you want your driver's license to say."

"I have a driver's license."

"The girl with that driver's license is dead," he reminded her quietly. She tensed against me.

"Oh…right."

"You can give it some thought if you'd like," he offered.

"No, I…" she hesitated. "I want to be Bella Dwyer."

We both looked at her in surprise. _Well, that's not what I expected, _Carlisle's thoughts echoed my own._ I'm glad I asked._

I nodded and smiled. I was hurt that she didn't want the name of Cullen, but realized I should be grateful she didn't ask to be Bella Black. That would have crushed me.

"Jasper will have your identification the next time we see you," Carlisle informed her with a wink.

"Thanks for everything." Bella smiled warmly. Carlisle said another goodbye and climbed into the car, disappearing quickly.

I released my hold and took her by the hand. I led her into the boat and got in beside her. I rowed us the short distance. She remained silent and avoided looking at me. I gulped, trying to get rid of the lump that was plugging my throat, my worry building.

The boat hit St. Lawrence Island with a light thud. I hopped out and pulled it the rest of the way onto the shore. Bella stood and took the hand I had offered. She stepped out and narrowed her eyes, trying to see our surroundings.

I picked up the boat with all of our belongings and began walking in the direction of the cottage Carlisle had obtained many years ago. Water was dripping everywhere, but I managed to stay dry for the most part. I sat the boat down and took Bella by the hand.

We walked up the steps and I pushed the door open. I flipped the switch and the tiny room was flooded with soft light.

Bella gasped. "What is this place?"

"This is where Carlisle brings Esme when they want to be alone."

She slowly walked into the small kitchen on the left. She ran her fingers over the granite countertops and knotty alder cabinets. She turned and gasped again, being able to see the stone fireplace across from her. "I'm going to guess Esme decorated." She smiled and my tension lessened.

"Would you like to see your room?"

"My room?"

I nodded. She probably assumed we would be sharing a room. I looked forward to the day that that would happen. But sighed knowing that today was not that day.

She took my hand and I led her down the small hallway. "There are two rooms. You can have whichever one you'd be more comfortable in."

"Thank you."

We walked into the first one, which was decorated with deep wine and dark brown. The cherry wood bed sat against the far wall, under the window. The floors throughout the cottage were a light oak wood. Esme loved them.

"Can I see the other one?"

"Absolutely."

The other room was decorated in sage green and champagne. The bed was covered in a satin comforter and was very inviting. "I'll take this one," Bella smiled, "unless you'd rather have it."

"You take it. I'll be comfortable knowing that you are."

She walked into the room and started investigating the various nooks and crannies it contained. I left to gather her things for her. When I returned, she was relaxing across her bed. I laughed.

"You like it then?

"Very much." She patted the bed next to her. I crawled up beside her and she snuggled back into me. "Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome, love." I kissed her on the head.

She sighed. "I'm sorry. You must think you're on some kind of warped emotional roller coaster."

I laughed. "Aren't you sitting next to me on the ride?"

"Yes."

"Well then, I guess I'll just enjoy the ride." I paused, kissing her gently on the head. "As long as at some point it ends. The roller coaster part I mean."

She rolled over so that she was now facing me. "I hope it will end sooner than later." She lifted her face and pressed her lips to mine. I returned her kiss eagerly and pulled her closer.

She sighed and deepened the kiss.

We laid there in each other's arms for hours. It never progressed further than kisses, but at least she was giving me that.

The walls around her heart were slowly crumbling. I would continue picking away until they were completely destroyed -- until she loved only me.


	12. Test

Thank you to everyone who is reading the story. -- Thanks to not done baking for beta-ing.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Chapter 12 - Test 

Edward POV

The days came and went quickly. Before I'd even realized it, we'd been here two weeks. Bella was gaining control faster than any other newborn I'd encountered. Much better than Emmett had. Sometimes it seemed as though he wasn't even trying to control his lust for blood.

She had mastered hunting quickly and was even able to stay somewhat clean. Now the sink was sufficient, instead of needing a full-blown shower. Elk were not found in the area, so caribou was her desired meal. They weren't as tasty as mountain lion but they certainly were better than birds or fish, which were our only other choices since Bella refused to allow wolf on the menu.

Even though she'd stayed relatively clean during our hunting trip, she decided on a hot shower when we got back. I waited as patiently as I could for her. I smiled, remembering her beautiful figure stalking the animals.

I lit a fire in the fireplace and put the DVD in the player. I'd packed some of Bella's favorites in hopes of earning bonus points with her. I laid back, stretching out on the couch and anticipated Bella's response to the plans I had for tonight.

She walked down the hall, fluffing her hair dry with a towel. Her eyes met mine and she stopped, probably noticing my cheesy grin.

"What?" She tipped her head and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Would you like to watch a movie?"

She looked toward the blue screen on the television and smiled. "What kind of movie?" The fire popped and she jumped. I laughed.

"One of your favorites." She sat down next to me and I had to fight the urge to attack her. She smelt wonderful. Her same strawberry shampoo and soap were more intense with her new scent.

She pulled the blanket over her legs and snuggled next to me. I pressed play on the remote control and the music started.

"Romeo and Juliet."

"Yes."

"I thought you hated this movie."

"Hate is a strong word," I told her, refusing to admit that I did indeed dislike this movie.

She laughed.

"It is still one of your favorites, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then…" I kissed the top of her head, "enjoy."

She leaned her head against my chest and sighed. I rested my head on hers and listened to her steady breathing.

I was pretty proud of myself. I'd managed to keep my mouth shut for over two hours. More than once I prepared to say something, but fought the urge. The final credits rolled up the screen and Bella sniffed. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Thank you, Edward."

"Your welcome, love. I'm just glad you liked your surprise."

"The bigger surprise was that you didn't criticize it the entire time," she teased. I turned off the TV and the only light was that of the fire dancing hypnotically.

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered. My stomach tightening nervously.

"Sure."

"Why Dwyer?"

"Huh?" My question had confused her, probably because it came out of nowhere.

"When Carlisle asked what you wanted your name to be… Why not Cullen? Why did you decide to use Renee's last name?" I didn't want to sound accusatory because it was her decision and I respected it.

"Well…" she bit her bottom lip and her eyes averted mine.

"It's okay, I won't be upset."

"I'm not worried about upsetting you…" she paused again, smiling.

"Then why…" Her reaction confused me more with every word she spoke.

"Can I plead the fifth?" she giggled nervously, which only added to my anxiety.

"No, I'm not going to allow that. You are definitely guilty of something and I want to know what it is," I demanded softly, forcing a smile. She could be so exasperating.

She turned to face me, taking my hand in hers and rubbing it gently. "When we were pulling out of Forks, I realized that I was leaving my old life behind -- leaving Bella Swan behind. She no longer existed. I needed a new name to go with my new identity." She smiled. I nodded, but still didn't understand. "I decided to use Dwyer because…"

My anxiety was building and I held my breath, waiting for her to continue.

"Edward, I don't want to be Bella Cullen until…" she paused again and I thought I was going to jump right out of my skin. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, straining to remain calm.

"Bella, please, spit it out," I groaned.

"Why Edward, are you a little impatient?" She was amused by my obvious discomfort.

"Please," I begged her to continue.

"Fine." She stared into my eyes and they were sparkling so brightly, it was as if they were dancing. "I don't want the last name of Cullen until the day…" she again paused and an evil grin spread across her face. She knew what she was doing to me and she seemed to be enjoying it very much. "I will take the name Cullen, the day I become your wife."

"Oh." I didn't know how to respond to her revelation. I felt like I could fly. So hopeful. But had I heard her correctly? I stared at her, waiting for her next movement to verify what had just taken place between us. _Had she really just said she would be my wife someday? What did this mean? _I had a thousand questions running through my mind.

She leaned up and pressed her lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her onto my lap. Her legs straddled mine and she laid her head on my shoulder.

"I'm not saying that I'm ready right now, but I want to move on." She pulled back and smiled.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too."

Her response was unexpected and I felt warm, whole. I loved this woman so much. Not caring about her reaction, I pulled her close, kissing her passionately. She melted her body into mine. My breath caught when her tongue caressed my lip. She giggled.

"I do love you, Edward."

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hear that." I kissed her again.

"Will you hold me…like you used to?"

I didn't fully understand her request. I was holding her, but I wrapped my arms more tightly around her.

She placed her hand against my chest and pushed herself away from me. I looked at her confused. She'd just asked me to hold her, but she was getting to her feet. I furrowed my eyebrows, questioning her. She took me by the hand and pulled gently. I quickly stood.

"I want you to hold me like you used to." She tugged at my hand and led me into her bedroom. She pulled back the comforter and climbed under the blankets.

"Bella." I wasn't sure how far she wanted to take this and was a little apprehensive. I loved her, but I knew she was not ready for _that_ even if she didn't know it. She still wore Jacob's ring.

"I only want you to hold me," she smiled and sighed, "that's all."

I crawled under the comforter, sliding over to wrap my arms around her. She laid her head on the pillow and sighed.

"You, okay?" she muttered softly.

"Absolutely. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I feel better about things every day." She reached for my hand, pulling my arms tighter around her. "Thank you for everything, Edward."

"Anything to make you happy."

I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. The nights were still longer than the days and Bella liked to spend the nights snuggled in her pajamas, under the covers of the bed. Thankfully, she was allowing me to spend tonight the same way.

The sun began filling the room. "Bella, honey, it's time to get up," I whispered sweetly in her ear.

"Morning." She sounded sleepy, the same way she had when she was human and I'd awakened her then. I smiled at the memory. "How was your night?"

"Good, how was yours?" Our conversation was a little silly considering the fact that neither of us slept. We both just laid here pretending to.

"Good," she paused, thinking. "I never thought I would miss dreaming."

"I miss your dreaming."

"No, you miss my talking," she laughed.

"It was the only time I could have some idea of what you were thinking." Her mind was still a mystery I would love to solve. Everything about her was interesting, I could only imagine what her inner most thoughts would reveal; especially now that she was letting me back into her heart.

She leaned over and pressed her lips to mine. I kissed her quickly. "What are we going to do today?" she asked with a smile.

"Well, I have something I want you to try." She looked at me questioningly. "Get dressed." I hopped out of bed and ran into my room, changing my clothes and grabbing the shrink-wrapped package. I tucked it under my arm and waited for her in the living room.

"I'm rea-…" she stared at me, eyes wide. I knew that she could smell what Carlisle had so carefully tried to conceal from her. Up until just a few minutes ago, it had been in an air-tight container at the bottom of my closet.

I held it up. "It's your first test." So far so good. She hadn't attacked me to get at it.

"Test?" she questioned nervously.

"Of sorts. I'm going to start placing human items around the cottage so you'll get used to their scents." I smiled at her as she bit nervously on her lip. "Eventually, we'll add blood to the mix."

"Human blood?" the panic was oozing through her question.

"No humans will die in an effort to help you. Dr. Cullen will get it for you."

She nodded, her eyes focused on the bag in my hand.

"Don't move." I concentrated on her eyes, studying her for anything that might signal her loss of control. The lump in my throat and my anxiety was growing, threatening to overtake me.

She nodded again, watching closely as I pulled out the contents. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, but remained firmly planted where she stood.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." Her resolve surprised me.

"Good. Do you want to try more?"

"Sure, sure." I cringed as she used Jacob's favorite affirmative phrase. Excited, I left her standing where she was and went to my room to fetch the other bag.

When I came around the corner, her eyes flashed onyx.

"That one's stronger," she informed me in a hoarse whisper. She stepped toward me and then backed away. "You can do this!" she hissed to herself under her breath. I could see her willing herself to get through this.

I tore the shrink-wrap away and she stiffened. "We can stop." If I pushed her too far, she would be really hard on herself. I couldn't allow that to happen.

"No, I need to do this."

I smiled supportively and pulled the Ziploc bag open, the scent of blood hitting me. _Weird, _I thought. I didn't think Carlisle would send something with blood on it. I looked down to see one side of the jacket covered in dried blood.

I expected Bella to accost me in order to get her hands on the tempting thing in my grip, but she didn't move. Her eyes were a frightening black, yet she remained in control. She closed her eyes again and smiled. I placed the item back in the bag and returned it to my room.

Bella's breathing was staggered when I came back around the corner. She was regaining total control. I was so proud of her. How could I not be? She had managed something that even the most disciplined newborn would struggle with. I ran to her and scooped her into my arms, kissing her.

"You did so good, Bella!" I spun her around, laughing.

"Thanks."

"How did you ever manage?" I placed her feet back on the floor.

"You were right."

"About what?"

"When you said not breathing was uncomfortable," she sighed, "you were so right." I smiled, pecking her lips. "Not breathing sucks. But at least it made it so that I could think."

"Do you think you're ready to be tempted with fresh blood?"

"I don't know," she sounded skeptical, nervous.

"We can call Carlisle and have him bring some over. If it's too much, there's no harm…"

"But I'll have tasted blood again," she cut me off.

"Bella, you'll be okay. I'm here, remember."

"I know." She paused. "And for that I am grateful. Thank you."

"You're welcome, love. You are very welcome."


	13. Jacob

a HUGE thanks to all of you who are reading and reviewing my story! -- Thanks to not done baking for being that extra set of eyes!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

* * *

Chapter 13 - Jacob 

Jasper and I walked from store to store in Port Angeles looking for the perfect gift for Bella. I missed her so much and couldn't wait until next week when I would be able to see her again.

She'd stayed true to her promise and called every day. It seemed that she was progressing quickly. She was even able to control herself with a jacket covered in blood; something that until just recently, even Jasper couldn't do.

I looked up lovingly at him and he smiled, squeezing my hand. I giggled, but all my good feelings vanished as we rounded the corner and came face to face with Jacob Black -- and some girl. They were smiling, laughing and holding hands. I narrowed my eyes and scowled. Jasper growled, not even trying to conceal his disdain.

"Hi," Jacob muttered, draping his arm protectively around the girl. His face contorted to match ours.

"That was fast!" I accused in low hiss.

He stepped toward me and Jasper jumped in front of me. Panic flashed in his friend's eyes and she slowly moved away from us.

"May I speak with you?" Jacob asked through gritted teeth.

"Fine," I snarled.

"It's okay, Kam," he placed a kiss on her cheek. "I'll be right in. Why don't you get us something to eat." He dug into his pocket and handed her some bills. Her big blue eyes were unsure as she searched his face. "Really, it's okay." She gave him a weak smile, but there was something more behind her eyes. This girl loved Jacob Black. She adored him.

She was a tall girl. I would guess five foot ten. Her height complimented his. She was thin, muscular. The body of an athlete. Her hair was shoulder length and was a fantastic shade of chestnut brown.

She reluctantly headed into the burger joint, watching Jacob the entire time.

"What is your deal, leech?" Jacob growled.

"Bella's only been gone a few months and already you've found someone else?" I fumed.

"Bella has moved on with Edward," he voiced his soft rebuttal. "What should any of you care what _I_ do?"

Jasper sent a calm wave through us and I slapped at him. "Stop it!" I wanted to use this anger to my advantage while speaking with Jake. His eyes wandered between Jasper and I, confused. I glared at Jacob. "Do you love her?" I insisted, getting right to the point.

"Alice, that's none of our business," Jasper interjected, scolding me for my boldness.

"Yes, I do," Jacob replied before I could react to Jasper. "But there's more to it…" he paused, biting his lip. "Have you heard of imprinting?"

I stole a quick glance at Jasper, who was shaking his head as I shook mine.

"It's a wolf thing, hard to explain and even harder to understand. In a nutshell," he paused, biting his lip, "imprinting is when you find your soul mate, the one who is more important than anything else -- anyone else. It happens the first time you see her and well…"

"You imprinted on her." Jasper finished his sentence.

"Yes."

"Are you happy?" I asked the key question; the one Bella would want to know.

"Very much so." A smile spread across his face as he looked through the glass at this Kam girl, who was gushing at him. "She loves me too." I could hear his heart rate quicken when he talked about her.

"I'm very happy for you," Jasper held his hand out.

Jacob shook it. "Thanks," his eyes were suddenly very sad. He dropped his voice to a low whisper, "how is Bella?"

"Um…" I stammered unsure of how I felt about this whole thing. I wanted to be angry that he'd moved on so quickly, but didn't he deserve happiness? Bella would want him to be happy. In fact, she wouldn't be able to fully love Edward until she knew that Jacob had found joy. Perhaps this was a good thing.

"She's doing really well," Jasper answered, elbowing me out of my thoughts.

Jacob smiled, "Please tell Bella that she will always hold a piece of my heart. I have Kam and she is all I need to be happy." His eyes began to glisten and I wondered if he was going to cry. "Tell Bella that it's okay for her to love Edward. That's what I want her to do," his voice was thick with the tears his eyes refused to shed. "Tell her to move on."

"We will," I smiled. "Good luck to you, Jacob Black."

"Thanks. I've got to get back to Kam," he looked over his shoulder and his eyes met hers. His heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat. "Bye," he muttered not even turning to acknowledge the people he was dismissing. He walked right into her waiting arms.

She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. "Everything okay?" her voice was soft, concerned and full of love.

"Yes, they were some of Bella's friends," he informed her.

"Oh," her big blue pools focused on Jasper and I still standing dumbly on the sidewalk eavesdropping on their conversation. She sounded sad when he mentioned her. I wondered how much she truly knew about Bella's "death".

He pressed his lips just below her ear and whispered, "I love you, Kam."

"I love you too, Jacob. It's just…" she tore her eyes from us and looked lovingly into his, "I know you loved her too."

"There's no reason to fear a ghost, honey." He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. He kissed the top of her head. "I love _you_, Kam."

Jasper grabbed me by the hand and pulled me away from the sweet sight. I was honestly happy that Jacob had found someone to love him. Someone to hold his heart. I just hoped it would be a relief for Bella as well.

"Come on. Esme will be waiting," Jasper prodded me.

XOXOXOX

We arrived in Nome to find Carlisle waiting on the porch. Esme was beginning to climb out of the car before Jasper had even gotten it to a complete stop. She ran up the steps and into Carlisle's arms. They shared a quick, yet passionate kiss before he lifted her into his arms and carried her into the house. She laid her head against his chest and sighed.

"Oh, I missed you so much, darling," Carlisle whispered sweetly as they headed for their bedroom.

"I guess we'll unload the car," Jasper laughed, gathering the suitcases out of the trunk.

I closed my eyes to see which room was destined to be ours. Within seconds, I opened the door and flopped down on the bed. The nice thing about having Carlisle come ahead was that the beds already had fresh linens on them.

"How do you think Bella's going to react to the news about Jacob?" I asked the man who was my soul mate.

"You tell me." He turned raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" He studied my puzzled face. "Just look into her future."

"That's what I'm telling you. I tried. I can't see anything."

"Are you broken?" he teased, tapping lightly on my forehead and then kissed it. "Can you see Edward's?"

"Yes, I see that he and Bella are going to be very happy… someday." There was no telling how long it would take for her to give in to him, especially with the information we were bringing with us.

"I'm sure everything is fine."

I stared at him skeptically. The only other time I wasn't able to see Bella's future was when she was determined to be with the wolf. _Surely she hadn't decided…_

"Just talk to Carlisle…" he paused, grinning, "when he's done reuniting with Esme."

I rolled my eyes at the reference he was making to our parents.

"I will."

"Now, why don't we do something with the stuff in this box," he chuckled, tossing me a box label lingerie.

* * *

**IMPORTANT Author's Note**: I know I said Jacob had exited the story. I know I said I couldn't write about his imprint. I know… I know… I know… BUT I needed to write this chapter. I needed to see that Jacob was okay. I needed to know Jake was happy; and as much as it hurts Bella, she needs to know it too. Thanks for indulging me! 


	14. Visitors

Thank you to all of my readers -- Thanks to not done baking for being that much needed extra set of eyes!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

* * *

Chapter 14 - Visitors 

There was a knock on the door and Alice's excited thoughts were practically screaming at me from the other side. The light rapping startled Bella and she looked nervously at me.

"It's okay," I laughed. She hedged toward the door and hesitated with her hand on the handle, her eyes returned to my face. I nodded, "If you don't answer it, the person on the other side is going to come in anyway."

She opened it slowly and Alice almost knocked her over, bouncing into the room, wrapping her arms around Bella.

"Oh, Bella, it's so good to see you!"

"You too, Alice," she responded cheerfully as the two of them jumped up and down like two little girls. I loved seeing her so happy and smiled at the sight of them.

"Did Jasper come too?" Bella asked, searching over Alice's shoulder.

"Hey, little sister!" he jumped dramatically through the door, holding a present. Bella groaned. I fought off a laugh and put my hand over my mouth to disguise my amusement. "We brought you something," he chuckled, giving her the pink and white bag.

"Victoria's Secret?" Bella choked out. My laughter erupted, watching her nervous reaction.

"Open it," Alice's excitement was rubbing off onto everyone in the room. I glanced quickly at Jasper, who had a stupid grin plastered on his face. He was enjoying Bella's embarrassment as much as I was.

Bella looked at me for help, my smile spreading. "I think you should just open it, love."

"It's okay, Bella. It's not anything _too _embarrassing," Jasper was attempting to help -- add to her discomfort.

I wondered what on earth Alice was thinking, buying Bella something at a place known for their sexy under garments. We were getting along great, but… _Does she know something I don't? Has she seen something?_

I listened carefully to Alice's thoughts. She was concentrating a little too hard on what was happening right in this moment. She was hiding something from me. I narrowed my eyes at her waiting for the second when she would look at me.

"Edward, what's wrong with you?" she asked with fake innocence. "A tad bitter because you have to share Bella with me?"

She knew exactly what was wrong with me. My family only hid their thoughts when there was something to hide.

I couldn't let Bella know how frustrated I was with Alice. I would wait for the right time to confront her. I turned to Jasper, who was grinning like the cat who just ate the canary. Bella had an embarrassed look on her face, but no color flooded her cheeks, as she began to cautiously poke at the bright pink tissue paper. Oh, how I missed her blushing!

I returned my attention to what was in the package. As much as I knew Bella and my relationship wasn't at that point yet, I could dream couldn't I?

She pulled out very unsexy, flannel pajamas. "Oh," she held them up to make sure they'd gotten the size right.

"Do you like them?"

"Yeah. They're really cute. But… I don't sleep."

"No, but I know that you like to pretend to. I thought you ought to look cute doing it," Alice explained, giggling. "Go try them on."

"Okay," she hugged them to her chest and disappeared around the corner.

"Why are you hi-…" I hissed.

"Shut up and listen," Alice's voice was low and serious. Her thoughts began to bombard me. Jacob Black. Some girl named Kam. Imprinting.

"He's in love…already?" I fought to keep my voice quiet. This was not what I was expecting at all.

Jasper nodded, "so is _she_." He was referring to the other girl.

"How's Bella going to handle this news?" I worried to myself. The way I saw it, Bella could react in one of two ways. One, she melts into a puddle and pulls further away from me. Or two, she finally allows herself to move on. I hoped desperately it would be the latter.

My question had been rhetorical, but Alice answered nonetheless, "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" I asked, surprised by her response.

"I can't see how Bella's going to react."

"React to what?" Bella's anxiety poured into the room as soon as the question left her beautiful lips. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and comfort away all her worry.

"Um…" Alice searched her face. _We have to tell her._

I nodded slowly, hoping Bella would miss our private conversation. Jasper flooded the room with peaceful feelings, but Bella's face remained strained, nervous.

"Alice?"

_Who should tell her? _Jasper's mind asked the question we were all thinking.

"Bella, why don't you sit down," I motioned to the couch. She looked absolutely stunning in her new white pajamas with the multi-colored lips on them. Taking her hand in mine, we sat down. She tucked her knee under her leg and sat facing me. Her eyes pleading with me for answers.

The three of us stared at Bella, none of us sure of how to start the conversation. I searched Jasper's thoughts for some kind of insight, but he seemed as clueless as the rest of us as to how Bella was feeling at the moment. Her face was calm, but her breathing was too steady to be that serene.

"Dammit! Will someone please tell me what's going on here?" her words were harsh, but they were barely above a whisper as she demanded answers.

"When we were in Port Angeles, buying your present…"

"Which are really cute," Alice interrupted Jasper, who was working frantically to calm Bella. It didn't seem to be working though.

"Thank you," she murmured softly, smoothing the front with her hand. I watched her carefully, her panic and anxiety growing with each passing second. I hated that she was feeling this way.

Jasper cleared his throat and began again, "When we were in Port Angeles, buying your present, we kind of ran into… um… we saw…"

"Oh, good grief, Jasper! It's not that hard! Just spit it out," Bella groaned.

Jasper looked at me, _Are you sure? _

"Bella, they saw Jacob," I answered Jasper's question.

"Oh," she dropped her eyes and began to fiddle with his ring again. "How did he look?"

"Happy," Alice responded quietly, honestly.

"Good. I want him to be happy," she smiled weakly. "Did you talk to him?"

"Yes," Jasper nodded, sending another wave of good feelings throughout the room. It seemed that Alice and I were the only ones comforted by his efforts. Bella blinked, her face looking back and forth between us.

"Bella, he was with a girl." I loathed myself for being the one to break her heart -- again.

"A girl?" her voice cracked.

Alice relayed their conversation with Jacob. Told her about Kam and how she looked at him with adoring eyes.

"He loves her?" she murmured, dropping her eyes. "And she loves him?"

Alice nodded, "Bella, he said to tell you that you will always hold a piece of his heart." I cringed at Alice's revelation. She'd kept that part hidden before. "He wants you to move on with Edward. To be happy."

Bella grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I pressed her knuckles to my lips.

"He asked me to tell you to move on," Alice finished.

"He was truly happy?" she turned to face Jasper, knowing that Jacob wouldn't be able to disguise his real feelings for this girl from him.

"Bella, he has moved on. He loves her. I'm sorry." _I can't get a read on what she's feeling. I hope that's a good sign. _"He wants nothing more than for you to find happiness."

The silence in the cottage was deafening as we waited for Bella's reaction. With each passing moment, I became more and more nervous. This news could ruin all the progress we'd made these last few months.

"I hate to drop a bomb and run, but you have a lot to think about," Jasper said, standing.

Alice grabbed Bella's hands and pulled her off the couch and into a hug. She whispered quietly in Bella's ear, "Let Edward help you through this."

"I will. Thanks for telling me the truth."

"Enjoy your new pajamas," Alice giggled.

"Thank you. I love them," she twirled around, showing them off. Her smile was genuine and I grinned along with her, relieved. She was smiling now, but would she still be happy when it was just the two of us?

_Carlisle sent a vial for you. I left it just outside, next to the porch. Be patient with her. I still see a wedding in your future, _Alice's thoughts broke through my own.

"Thanks for coming," I shooed my siblings out the door. I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to be alone with Bella. I wanted to find out where her head was -- where her heart was.

I closed the door and turned to face her. "Are you okay?"

A weak smile tugged at her lips. "Yes," she whispered.

"Really?" My feet were suddenly stuck to the floor and my body seemed to be frozen while I waited for her next move.

"Really," she smiled. She glanced at the clock and back to me. "Bedtime," she approached me cautiously, took my hands in hers and tugged lightly, leading me to the bedroom.

She climbed under the covers and I joined her, pulling her body close to mine. We were quiet for a long time before she finally rolled over to face me. I kept my eyes tightly closed, just in case she was just getting comfortable.

She pressed her lips to mine and I opened my eyes when her skin left mine.

"I'm so relieved he's happy."

"I'm relieved you're relieved," I chuckled nervously. "I was so worried…"

She shushed me with her fingers. "You don't need to worry anymore." Her lips met mine again. Her hand moved to tangle itself into my hair and Bella sighed. I wrapped my arms tighter around her, melting her body to mine. _I love you, _I heard Bella's voice clearly in my head as she moaned softly against my lips.

I sat up quickly, stunned.

"What's wrong?" her face looked shocked -- and hurt.

"I heard you."

"I'll keep my pleasure to myself," she snarled, climbing out of the bed and storming out of the room. She was more wounded than angry, of that I was sure.

"No, Bella," I leapt to grab her by the arm, spinning her to face me. "I heard you."

"I got that."

"You _thought_ that you love me."

"How'd you…"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you. I heard you -- your thoughts."

"But how?"

"I don't know." I lifted her into my arms, spinning her around in a circle. "But I love hearing you in my head." I kissed her passionately, not releasing my hold. "Try thinking something else."

Her eyes slammed shut and a look of concentration consumed her beautiful features. Nothing.

"Don't try so hard."

Her face relaxed and she smiled. Still nothing.

"Okay, you're killing me, love! You have to tell me what you're thinking."

"Nope," an evil grin tugged at her full lips.

"I have to figure this out." I sat her feet on the ground and rubbed at my temples, thinking.

I began to pace back and forth through the room when her thoughts hit me again, _You look so cute when you're concentrating._

"I heard you!" I stared at her incredulously as her grin bloomed into a full-fledged smile, laughter erupting from her small frame.

_I know._

"You know how to control it?"

_Yes. At least I think so. _She raised an eyebrow and her thoughts giggled at me.

"How?"

"When we were laying in bed earlier, I wanted you to understand that you didn't have anything to worry about -- that I love you."

"You wanted me to hear you?"

"I guess."

"And I did," I laughed. "Think something else that you want me to hear." I was so excited with this new discovery. I wanted to know everything that her glorious mind had been hiding before.

_I love that you love me._

"Always, Bella. Forever."


	15. Revelations

Thank you to all of you who continue to read and review my stories! -- Also a HUGE thanks to not done baking for beta-ing!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

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Chapter 15 - Revelations

Edward POV

The next few days were spent with Bella deciding which thoughts I should be privy to. Each new piece of information that flowed from her mind was simply intoxicating. I loved this girl so much. I constantly was fighting the urge to take her in my arms and press her lips to mine.

We'd just returned from hunting and Bella was taking a hot shower. I held the vial of blood between my fingers, examining the contents closely. I wondered if she was ready for this challenge.

_Edward, _Bella's voice entering my head, startled me and I dropped the small glass tube. It tumbled in the air, threatening to smash into the floor. My hand flashed out, recovering the thing I'd fumbled. _I forgot a towel. Can you get me one? _

"Sure thing, love," I called back to her. "I'll be right there." I quickly wrapped the vial in its air-tight bag and stashed it back outside in the bushes.

Moments later, I stood outside the bathroom door. The water was still running so I knocked lightly and opened the door slowly. "I'm just going to lay it on the counter, okay?"

"Thank you, Edward."

I turned in the direction of her voice; instantly, regretting that decision. Bella's silhouette was standing on the other side of the flimsy curtain. Her arms were above her head, washing her hair. The light coming in from the window left little to the imagination.

I gulped, trying to get my heart out of my throat. My breathing was unsteady. The lower half of my body was also reacting to the glorious sight before me. I considered only momentarily ripping the insubstantial barrier that was standing between me and…

_Are you still there?_

"Um… Yeah. I'm leaving," I stammered, shifting uncomfortably so that I could walk out. I headed into the kitchen, splashing my face with water. I needed to regain control of my hormones.

I slumped down onto the couch and picked up a book, thumbing indifferently through the pages. My head was still spinning so I laid my head back and closed my eyes. My thoughts ventured to Bella. My mind's eye revisited what it had seen only moments before.

I growled softly out of frustration. My heart couldn't take more rejection. As long as I continued to convince myself that I didn't care how long it took for her to love me, I seemed to be able to remember why we were here in the first place. I ran my fingers through my hair, stood and began pacing the length of the room and focused on Bella's next challenge. If she were able to pass it, Carlisle said I could bring her into town for a visit. I wouldn't tell her that until she had shown the necessary control.

"Hey," her quiet voice again startled me.

"Hi." I turned quickly to face her. "How was your shower?"

"Great. I love that the water is hot for forever."

"You always did enjoy a hot shower."

_You probably could use a cold one, _her thoughts observed, followed by a giggle only heard in her mind.

She had to have known how she'd effected me earlier. Mortified, I responded to her accusation quietly, "I prefer warm ones."

"Oh…crap!" An embarrassed look showed up on her face. "I didn't mean for you to hear that."

I laughed realizing she was as uncomfortable as I was by her mind's revelation. "You'll learn how to control your powers," I muttered, slightly changing the subject. "Although, I really enjoy being in your head."

"I just hope you don't come to hate it -- or me."

"I could never hate you, Bella."

She giggled, raising an eyebrow, "You don't know half the things I've thought about you." She closed her eyes, her face playful. _At least I can keep you out if I want._

"That's no fair. I want to hear all or nothing."

"I vote nothing," an evil smile tugged at her lips.

I rushed across the room, crushing her to my chest. "I vote all," I chuckled, pressing my mouth to hers. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled herself closer to me. Having her so close, took my breath away. Her fingers stroked my hair as her tongue gently stroked my bottom lip.

_I love you, Edward._

I placed a trail of kisses down her neck to just under her ear. "I will never get tired of hearing that," I muttered kissing her again. I sat her feet gently on the floor and reluctantly released my hold on her.

She glanced up at me from under her lashes and my whole body felt weak. She was the only person who had ever had that affect on me. She brushed at some hair that had fallen toward her face with her left hand -- her _unadorned _left hand.

Electricity flowed through my veins as I considered what this might be. There was nothing I wanted more than to have Bella as mine. I was so excited I almost couldn't force my brain to form the question I needed to ask.

"Bella, did you lose your ring?" My voice sounded shaky, almost panicked. The location of Jacob's ring mattered a great deal to our future. I tried to remain composed, not allowing Bella to see my anxiety.

"No," she rubbed at the spot that no longer wore the emblem that showed her heart still belonged to Jacob Black. "I just figured it was time…" she paused, her eyes slowly looking at me. "It's time for me to move on. I can't do that with the constant reminder of my love for another man." She dropped her eyes. _A man I can never have, _she thought bitterly.

For the first time since discovering her new power, I cursed it. She was right; I didn't want to know everything that crossed through her thoughts. When it came to her lost love… The knowledge that he still held her heart was excruciating.

She'd just said she loved me and I had no doubt that her feelings were genuine. But how big of a piece did Jacob still hold? And would she ever be able to love me completely?

Also in that moment, I realized that her reaction to Jacob's moving on, was very different on the inside than the one she was allowing me to see. _Do I tell her that I know how she really feels? Or ignore it -- and hope?_

I opted for hoping right now.

"Edward?"

I wasn't sure how long I'd been silent, lost in my thoughts. "Sorry, just thinking."

"About what?"

"How happy I am that you've decided to love me," I attempted a weak smile.

"I do love you," she subconsciously rubbed at her naked finger.

"I know."

"But…"

"But what? There was no but."

"You heard me, didn't you?" she whispered, taking my hand.

I started to shake my head, lying to her; but her eyes scrutinized my face and I nodded slowly. I hoped that my body language didn't give away how much pain her revelation caused me.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, pressing my hand to her cheek. "I told you that you didn't want to hear my thoughts."

"You're probably right about that," I sighed, _I don't want to know how desperately you miss Jacob. _"I do have a question for you," I hesitated, unsure of whether this was exactly safe territory to explore.

"Yes?"

"Do you regret being here with me?" I gulped silently, swallowing my pride and my fear.

She looked deeply into my eyes and smiled. "Edward, I do love you. I'm beginning to remember just how much I truly loved you way back when. I miss Jacob very much. He mended me and for that I will always love him."

"Oh," I choked.

"He is very special to me. That's why I'm so glad that he's been able to move on. I'm just glad he didn't imprint on that girl while I was still around. I'm not sure I could have handled that." She sighed. "You asked if I regret being here with you," she said thoughtfully. "It seems that fate stepped in and took away my choice of how I live out the rest of my existence." She leaned up to kiss me softly. "No, I don't regret being here with you. There is no one I'd rather spend eternity with, Edward."

"You wouldn't rather spend it with _him_?"

"You mean, would I rather spend eternity watching Jacob love Kam? No." Her lips touched mine again. "Besides," she smiled, "he smells hideously of wet dog."


	16. Tears

Thanks to all of you -- my great reviewers! I love you!! -- Thanks to not done baking for being that much needed extra set of eyes!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

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Chapter Sixteen - Tears 

Bella POV

Learning how to keep Edward from hearing certain thoughts was difficult. It seemed that when I was feeling particularly emotional, they wafted into his head more easily.

The feelings I still had for Jacob had me on an emotional rollercoaster. Unfortunately, Edward, like he'd said before, was taking the ride with me. Although, I sometimes was certain they'd started the ride without making sure I had my seatbelt fastened.

Edward thought I enjoyed showers as a reminder of my human life, but it was more than that. The warm water running over my body was a comfort, but during my daily showers was the only time I allowed myself to melt -- to cry. The water washing over my face felt much like the tears flooding my very soul.

I'd been careful to keep my emotions hidden from Edward. He would find some warped sense of responsibility for my sadness. So, being alone in the shower, I mourned the loss of the piece of my heart that belonged to Jacob.

He had moved on and I knew I had no choice but to do the same. I wanted to. I loved Edward. More importantly, I knew he loved me.

I pressed the plug down, stopping the water and sunk to sit in the bottom, letting the artificial tears roll down my cheeks. The water dripping covered the soft sobs by body was emitting.

When the water finally turned cold against my even colder skin, I hurried to dry off. I stood in front of my dresser and examined the ring that would no longer adorn my finger. The constant reminder of Jacob -- and the fact that he'd moved on -- was more painful than anything I'd been through.

Surprisingly enough, it was harder than when Edward had left me. As I pondered the reasoning for the difficulty, I decided it was because I wasn't letting myself mourn properly.

I was so concerned for Edward's feelings that I wasn't letting myself experience my own. If I were ever going to get over it, I needed some time alone. _Time alone. That's exactly what I need to get over my feelings for Jacob. _

I let out a deep sigh, rounding the corner into the living room. I stared at Edward's face, making sure he hadn't heard the ramblings of my mind. There was a soft upward turn to his lip and he was flipping the pages of the book he was holding with appropriate timing. I convinced myself that he hadn't heard me, since asking him was out of the question. I'd hurt him too much already.

He had mentioned something about a new challenge and I thought this was as good a time as any. "Edward?"

"Yes, love," he muttered sweetly, looking up from his book.

"I think I'm ready."

"Ready?"

"Didn't you say you had another challenge?"

"Oh. Yes," he smiled. "Are you sure you're ready?"

His reaction suddenly made me nervous. "I _thought_ I was," I admitted.

"You'll be fine." He stood and headed toward the door. I watched him cautiously. He stepped out the door and returned holding a bag. I gulped, seeing the tube of red liquid in it. I inhaled deeply expecting the intoxicating scent of blood. There was no smell though. I stared at him perplexed. "Carlisle packed it carefully so you wouldn't find it until you were ready for the test."

"Oh," was all I could say in response.

"Do you still think you're ready?"

I gazed at the biggest test of my life and wondered if I had enough control for this. _What's the worst that can happen? _

He laughed, answering the question I'd only intended for myself, "The worst thing would be that you get a little crazy and I have to subdue you." I knew he was enjoying the fact that he could hear my thoughts.

"It sounds to me like you'd enjoy subduing me," I teased.

"Of course, I always enjoy feeling your body close to mine."

I rolled my eyes. "I guess I'm as ready as I can be right now." I sighed deeply, preparing for what was coming. "Break out the blood."

Edward's fingers slowly ripped the plastic away one layer at a time, never taking his eyes off of mine. "Are you okay?"

I nodded.

"One more," he whispered as he removed it from the Ziploc bag.

As soon as he removed the rubber stopper, the monster I'd been able to control before, growled. I took a step forward, needing to taste it. _No! _my thoughts screamed. _You can do this!_

"You _can_ do this, Bella," Edward's voice assured me. "Concentrate. Stop breathing."

I did what he instructed and instantly regained control. My eyes being able to search out Edward's smiling face.

"That's it, love." His hand turned over, dripping the red fluid onto the floor. I willed my feet to stay planted where they were, looking only at Edward. "Get a rag, please."

His request didn't make much sense, but I did as he asked.

"Okay, now, come here," he said, kneeling down.

I hesitated, staying where I was.

"It's okay. I'm here for you," he smiled. "Come here."

I knelt down next to him, remembering not to breathe, which was painful.

"Let's get this mess cleaned up," he whispered, taking my hand in his and wiping slowly at the puddle of blood.

It was as though the moments were going in slow motion. Having Edward's hand on mine made it so much easier. I kept clearing my throat in an attempt to keep the monster away. Right now, I was completely in control, but I didn't want to get too cocky.

"You handled that better than I thought you would."

"Thanks a lot," I grumbled.

"No, it's just that I've never seen anyone handle it like you just did." He pulled me into his arms, pressing his lips to my forehead. "I'm so proud of you, Bella."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." He kissed me on the lips, letting his tongue caress my bottom one. I laced my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to me. Out of nowhere, he pulled away. "I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?"

"We're going home."

"Home? We are home?"

"Actually, we're going to visit our family."

"Really?" I squealed, throwing my arms back around him. "When?"

"How soon can you be ready?"

"Give me five minutes."

"Five minutes, it is," he laughed as I ran around the corner.

I chucked a few clothes into a suitcase before returning to Edward in the living room. He was standing at the door with his bag at his feet. "That was fast!" he laughed. "One might think you were excited to get away from me."

"Our time together has been fantastic, but I just can't wait to see everybody else."

"Do you have everything?"

"We aren't coming back?"

He raised an eyebrow, smiling. "Only if you want to."

"What? So you can subdue me?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Not as much as you," I laughed. Our playful banter took on a bitter tone in my mind as it returned to Jacob. _I have got to get over him! My heart can't take much more of this._

I watched Edward's eyes for any indication that he'd heard me, but the smile was still on his lips.

"Let's go." He took my bag and collected his, leading me toward the boat he'd already put in the water.

"You were pretty confident I'd pass."

"Of course." He held my hand as I stepped into the bottom of the boat. I sat on the hard seat and waited while he gracefully hopped in and began rowing.

"Do they know we're coming?"

"Yes. I called them while you were packing," he smiled. "Alice is giddy. She can't wait to see you again."

"I've missed her too."

"Was your time with me really that hard to take?" he snorted, acting offended.

"No, I guess not," I teased. I think he was actually nervous that once we got back to the family, I wouldn't need him anymore. I did need him. I just had to convince my heart I didn't need Jacob.


	17. Going Home

Thank you to all of my FANTASTIC reviewers! And to not done baking for being a GREAT beta!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

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Chapter Seventeen - Going Home 

I rowed the boat at a normal human speed, savoring every last moment I would have Bella to myself. I had enjoyed our time together and I think, for the most part, so did she. Little glimpses I'd gotten into her mind showed me she was still very much missing Jacob.

My stomach jumped as I thought his name and what he means to her. _If only I hadn't been so stupid way back when… _

Bella shifted on her bench and my attention returned to her face. She had been quiet on our short trip, fumbling with her fingers and biting on her lower lip. She seemed so anxious; although, I didn't understand why.

"Are you okay, love?"

"Yeah, just thinking," she paused. "I hope I do okay being around people."

"You'll be fine and I'll be with you every step of the way."

"I know," she mumbled, reverting back to her thoughts.

I rowed faster, hoping that seeing Alice would pull her out of her funk. She was completely oblivious to her surroundings and missed the shouting coming from over her shoulder.

"Oh, Jasper! I can see them!" Alice was flitting up and down, looking much like a little fairy with her wispy shirt flowing around her movements.

"Yes, I know, Alice. I can see them too," Jasper snorted. Alice must have been driving him crazy anticipating Bella's return to her. She viewed Bella as a sister and had missed her almost as much as I had. A smile spread across my face and a laugh bubbled out before I could control it.

"What's so funny?"

"Look," I said, pointing in the direction of my amusement. "Our welcoming committee is excited to see you."

"Alice!" she squealed, standing up and tipping the boat which sent both of flying into the icy water. I felt one of our bags brush my leg as they began their descent to the sand below.

I swam to Bella, making sure she had resurfaced and was safely holding onto the boat. "I'll get our bags," I laughed. "It seems Alice isn't the only one happy to be getting back together."

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I can't believe I did that. Charlie would be so disappointed," as she spoke of the memory, her eyes got that distant, sad look I hated. "He always told me never to stand up in a boat."

"It's okay, love, really. I didn't get a shower today anyway."

She laughed, but it sounded more like a pathetic snorting sound.

I dove down 20 feet or so to find the bags sitting on the ocean floor. I grabbed them and kicked off the bottom, propelling myself toward the surface. I looked upward and couldn't make out the shapes that were Bella or the boat that was supposed to be keeping her afloat.

Anxiety hit and I kicked harder, needing to find her. _If I lost her now, I'd never be able to forgive myself. Bella! Bella, where are you? _my mind screamed as the light became more prominent against the dark blue of the lower depths.

My head finally broke the surface to the laughter of the girls. I glanced over to see them all standing on the shore, Jasper was now as wet as Bella and I were.

"It's about time," he joked, "I was just about to come in after you." He was laughing as he waded out to take the bags from me. "Sorry, we didn't bring any towels."

I tried to remain composed as I pulled Bella into a hug. I could see that she was safe, but I needed to feel her in my arms to verify it. "Oh, come on, you should have known there was a possibility Bella would dump us in the water." I leaned down pressing my lips to her sopping wet hair. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, are you?"

"Of course, I'm indestructible," I laughed. I lowered my head to Bella's ear and whispered, "As long as you are safe and happy, there is nothing in this world that can hurt me."

Her eyes found their way to mine, a smile on her lips. _I know and for that, Edward, I love you._

"I love you too," I sighed into the skin just below her ear. "I love you so much." I pressed my lips to her neck only to have my brother's laughter interrupt our perfect moment.

"Haven't you two had enough time alone? I'd tell you to get a room, but you've had a whole cabin. Geez!"

"Jasper!" Alice snapped, throwing her elbow into his side. She turned to address us, "Okay, you two, I know that hypothermia isn't really a concern, but we should probably get you home and warmed up nonetheless," she smiled, motioning toward the car.

"I'm really glad we brought _your_ car," Jasper chuckled.

"It'll just give Bella something to do tonight when she details the interior," I smiled at her, lifting an eyebrow.

"Really? You think I'm just going to jump at the chance to detail your car because you couldn't compensate for my clumsiness?"

"Will you… if I help?"

"I guess…if you'll help," she smiled.

"It's your car," Jasper said, tossing me the keys.

"That's okay. You drive. I'm going sit in the back and use my body heat to keep Bella warm."

The three of them erupted in laughter as I handed the keys back to Jasper and climbed into the backseat with Bella sliding in next to me.

She was giggling so hard, she could hardly breathe. Her laughter was the best endorphin rush in the world. "I don't see how you're going to keep me warm with your clothes on."

_She's asking you to strip? _Jasper noted.

"When I was cold," I saw the look of nostalgia cross her face and wondered what memory had her smiling, "Jacob used to…" she stopped herself and her eyes flashed to mine, brimming with apologies.

"It's okay. Jacob used to what?" I didn't want to change who she was and what her memories contained, even though they were excruciating to me. It was my fault that she'd had to seek the shirtless comfort of a dog.

"Never mind." She dropped her gaze and fiddled with her fingers, rubbing at the spot where his ring was now missing.

Alice tossed a glimpse at Jasper who met her eyes. 'Awkward,' she mouthed, the only sound coming from her head. Jasper nodded and returned his eyes to the road.

I watched Bella and wondered if she would ever forget about him enough to move on with me. I knew she would never completely get over him, because that's what love does to you; it takes up a piece of your heart that no one can ever fill. I just hoped he hadn't consumed her _whole _heart.

The car came to a stop. "Bella!" Emmett shouted, bounding off the porch and jerking her door open. "It's good to see you, little sister."

"It's good to see you too, Emmett," Bella laughed, returning his hug. "Hi, Rosalie. Where are Esme and Carlisle?"

"We're right here," Esme appeared through the doorway, followed by Carlisle. _She looks really good, Edward. Has your time been productive?_

I nodded with a smile. I wasn't going to let any of my family members know of Bella's broken heart. It probably wouldn't be long before Jasper figured it out, but I wasn't going to give them any information that they didn't figure out on their own. This was hard enough without their sympathy.

"Come on, Bella, let's get you to your room," Alice laughed, taking her by the hand. "You too, Edward." We followed her up the stairs to the two rooms at the end of the hall. "This one's your's…" she pointed to the one on the right. "And that one's Edward's," she motioned to the left.

"Thanks, Alice."

Bella stepped into the room that was now going to be her home and glanced around. They had placed a bed in the far corner, covered with a chocolate micro fleece comforter. The whole room was decorated in various brown shades she missed so much from her days in Arizona.

"Do you like it?" I asked quietly from behind her.

"Yeah, it's beautiful." She turned to face me. "Should we check out your room?"

"Sure." I knew exactly what to expect before even opening the door, but Bella wanted to see.

"It looks just like your room back in Forks."

"I know. I'm not one for change," I laughed, walking over to make sure my brothers had put my CD's in the correct order.

"Did they get them right," she teased from behind me.

I ran my finger along the cases. "It looks like it." I pulled one out and popped it into the player. The relaxing piano music filled the room.

"Here are your bags. I got as much water out of them as I could," Jasper said with a grin while the bags dripped all over the hall.

"Well, I guess, I'd better get settled," she muttered, turning to leave. "Thanks for everything, Edward."

"Anytime, love."

She took her bag from Jasper and bumped into him playfully with her shoulder. "Thanks, Jasper."

She walked into her room and closed the door. Jasper walked in and sat down on the couch. "So how did everything go?"

"Good."

"She seems pretty content," Jasper noted.

"Yes, she does." I knew Jasper was fishing for information and I refused to give him any.

Without warning, his head jerked in the direction of Bella's room.

"Everything okay?" I asked, feeling anxious.

"I just got hit with overwhelming sorrow."

"From Bella? What happened?" I asked, jumping to my feet and heading in her direction.

"Don't go busting in there, Edward."

I froze outside her door and listened to the silence, in hopes that she would let me into her mind. I could hear quiet sobs floating through the door. "I can't believe I lost it," she whispered, then her thoughts opened, _Oh, Jacob. I lost your ring._

I closed my eyes and understood.

_I love you, Jacob. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. _

I opened the door and peeked through the crack. Bella was on her knees, clutching at her chest, her shoulders wretched with emotion. My dead heart ached for her and there was only one way to make her happy.

I had a mission. Mending Bella's broken heart was the only thing that mattered to me. I could deal with my hurt as long as she was happy.


	18. Gone

Thank you for loving this story! -- A HUGE thanks to Leria for beta-ing this chapter!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

* * *

Chapter Eighteen - Gone

I took my still dripping bag from Jasper and headed into my room. It was a beautiful place that was full of the little details only Esme could have placed here. The chocolate brown comforter reminded me of the desert and made me smile.

I sat my bag down on the floor and moved my hand, preparing to open the gaping zipper. Panic started to build as I tore everything out, throwing it on the floor. Jake's ring had been right on top in a plastic bag. When I got to the bottom, all my composure was lost. I hated that I couldn't cry. I let the sobs overtake me and grabbed at my middle, hoping I wouldn't fall apart.

I scooped up the soggy mess and escaped to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and climbed inside, allowing the water to wash my torment away. My shoulders shook as the sobs continued through the allotment of hot water. I sniffed and wiped the water from my face.

When my body was completely clothed, I climbed under the comforter and soaked in the warmth. Something had to be done. I couldn't just wallow in my misery forever. Jacob had moved on and Edward was here. And he loved me.

I loved Edward Cullen, but the chunk of my heart that belonged to Jacob ached for his touch, his heat, his kisses….

_Get over yourself, Bella! You're being ridiculous. _I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. I was being ridiculous. There was a wonderful man in the next room who would stop at nothing to make me happy. He'd proved time and time again that he would even sacrifice his own happiness for mine.

"Edward!" I jumped out of the bed and ran to him. I needed the comfort only he could offer. "Edward?" I opened the door to reveal his empty room. "Edward?" I called, making my way through the house. "Rosalie, Emmett, have you seen Edward?"

"Uh…I don't know where he is." I got the feeling Emmett knew more than he was saying and focused my gaze on Rosalie.

"I think he went out," she sighed, twisting at a lock of hair.

They were hiding something. I turned around and went to search for someone who wouldn't lie to me. "Alice, where's Edward?"

"He's gone."

"Gone?" my voice was barely a whisper. I felt the hint of Jasper's influence, and turned to glare at him as it disappeared. "What do you mean he's gone?"

"Earlier, when you…" Jasper started, "You were so upset. Your emotions were going crazy and we came to check on you."

"Edward heard me crying…over Jacob?" Realization was beginning to hit; my stomach lurched, tying in thousands of knots as my lungs started gasping for air they didn't need. I'd managed to push Edward away -- my only chance at happiness. He'd finally reached his limit and ran for the hills.

Jasper only nodded, squinting his eyes and staring at me in frustration.

"Alice, where did he go?"

"I don't know, Bella. He won't make up his mind."

I could feel the panic threatening to consume me. I grabbed Alice by the shoulders. "What _can _you see?"

"He's either one of two places…" she stopped, gulping and debating whether or not she should continue.

"Alice, please?"

"I see him on the La Push border, pacing back and forth…"

"La Push?" I gasped.

"Or under a lot of water."

"What does that mean?" I asked, shaking my head. He wouldn't really go get Jacob, would he? That would be absurd, really. I needed to work through my feelings for Jacob, and seeing him again would only make the progress I'd made so far to be for nothing. I just had to convince my heart that Jacob was my past and that Edward was my future. "Under a lot of water? Is he…" I couldn't even allow myself to consider the thought.

"Bella, vampires can't drown."

"I've got find him." I raced toward the door, only to be stopped by Alice and Jasper. "Let go of me! I need him."

"You should just wait here. He'll be back."

"When?" I screamed, losing my patience with their calm demeanors. "When will he be back? And if he went to La Push, he could ruin everything…. He could get hurt!" My voice was growing louder with each word. "Give me your phone!"

"Bella, he won't…"

"Then I'll use mine." I ran back up the stairs and grabbed the tiny silver cell phone off my nightstand. I flipped it open and pressed three. It rang only once before there was a beep. "Edward, it's me. Please come home. I need you. I miss you…. Edward, I love you." I snapped it closed and laid down on the bed.

The door opened and Alice sat down next to me. "He'll be home soon."

"Do you know where he went?"

"Yes."

"Well?"

"It's better that you just wait and see."

"When will he be home?"

"That I don't know, but he's coming back to you."

"He doesn't hate me?" Another tearless sob escaped my chest. "All I do is hurt him. I hate that I hurt him."

"He could never hate you, Bella. He loves you."

"Am I ever going to be able to move on?"

She closed her eyes. "You future is really hard to see. I can see Edward's, but yours is hazy."

_I want Alice to see my future._

"Oh," she squealed. "What did you do? It's clear now."

"I, um, I thought that I wanted you to see my future."

"Interesting. Jasper had a problem controlling your emotions earlier too. Did you block him or something?"

"Not exactly. I just really want to feel my emotions right now. I want to feel miserable. I've brought all of it on myself. I deserve the agony."

"Try to block me again."

I did as she asked and watched as her face contorted in frustration. She stared at me and concentrated even harder.

"Carlisle!"

"Alice, what's wrong?" Her sudden outburst scared me. "Is Edward okay?"

"Carlisle. Esme." She grabbed my arm and began jerking me toward Carlisle's office.

"Dammit, Alice! Is Edward…"

"This has nothing to do with Edward, Bella. This is all about you."

"What about me?"

"Carli-…"

"Alice, what's wrong?" Esme's quiet voice had a verge of anxiety. Carlisle appeared around the corner and put his hand on Esme's shoulder.

"Bella's power is more than just Edward being able to hear her." All of us looked at her as she began to describe everything that had happened today. Nobody seemed to worry that Edward had ran off without bothering to tell anyone where he was going or when he'd be back. "She can decide whether or not our powers work on her. Jasper can't influence her emotions and I can't see her future…unless she wants us to."

"Can you control what Edward hears?" Carlisle asked.

"Sometimes. Although, I'm afraid he's heard more than either of us wanted him to," I groaned.

"Interesting."

"Have you seen this kind of thing before?" Esme questioned, looking from me to Carlisle and back again.

He shook his head. "That's a very unique gift you have, Bella."

I had enough talk about me. I wanted to know where Edward was. "Alice, when is Edward going to be here?"

"I don't know…" she stole a glance at Jasper.

"Don't even try it," I hissed. "Tell me."

"It seems that it'll be a while."

"What? Why?"

"I'm sorry. That's all I know."

"Where is he?"

She dropped her gaze, refusing to answer my question. "Fine," I roared, making eye contact with everyone in the room. "I will find him myself."

"Bella," Esme grabbed my arm. "I really think it'd be best if you just waited here. He knows where you are."

"But _I _don't know where _he _is! And since you won't tell me," I glared at Alice, "I'll just have to do it myself."

I raced past my alleged family, to my room. I grabbed my purse, checking to make sure it contained my wallet, keys and my phone. In the time it took me to gather my things, everyone had congregated outside my door, so I headed toward the window.

_Edward, I won't let you leave me again!_


	19. Alike

I'm so glad you all love this story! -- a HUGE thanks Leria for her help with this story...and her suggestions for the kiss at the end.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

* * *

Chapter Nineteen - Alike

I turned the key of the black BMW Edward had given me and headed down the road. Alice had offered me little to go on. I decided I would start in the more painful of the two options. Especially since I had no idea where the other spot was.

I pressed the gas pedal to the floor and prepared for the long drive ahead of me. My mind was whirling as fast as the engine.

If Edward had ventured to La Push, there was a real possibility the pack reacted poorly, even if he was doing it for me. I dug through my purse, searching for my only form of communication.

I pressed Edward's number and waited, holding my breath and praying that he would actually answer this time.

Beep.

I inwardly groaned. "Edward, it's me. I _need _you to call me. Alice said you might be in La Push. I'm headed there now. I love you. Edward, I love you so much. _Please _call me." I closed the phone, tossing it on the seat.

The purr of the engine was the only sound as the car made its way up the twisted driveway that used to be my family's home. The headlights lit up the house for a moment before I turned the key, killing the engine.

I flipped open my phone, making sure it was on vibrate, before dropping it into my pocket. My stomach was doing flips and my breathing had become unsteady. I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to calm myself. I took a deep breath, sighed and headed in the direction of the La Push border.

I slowed as I got to the edge. I knew I'd be safe if I were met by Quil or Embry, but the rest of them wouldn't think twice about wiping me from this earth. I started the journey along the border, hoping to come in contact with someone.

I heard giggling and jumped to the top of a large pine tree. "Oh, Jake," the feminine voice laughed, coming closer. "He didn't really say that, did he?"

They came into view and my stomach lurched. A twinge of jealousy struck only to be replaced with peace. It wasn't hard to see that she loved him, and the way he looked at her was enough to make any girl's heart swoon.

"Yeah, and…" his voice and feet stopped as his body stiffened. He placed his arm protectively around the girl he was with. "Shh," he whispered in her ear.

"What is it?"

"A leech!" he hissed, his eyes darting in every direction, searching for where I'd gone. My dead heart leapt as I realized his protective stance. It was the same one he'd used when shielding me from Victoria. "I know you're here!" he yelled. "I'm warning you! You can face me alone or face the whole pack. Either way, you're not leaving Washington alive."

"Jacob," I whispered. "It's me."

"Bella?"

I released my grip on the branch and fluttered gracefully to the ground, landing with a light thud in front of them. I forced a smile, watching him wrap his arm around his imprint.

"_The _Bella?" she leaned in, whispering in his ear. He nodded and she fainted. He scooped her into his arms, cradling her next to his chest.

"Kam. Kam, can you hear me?" his voice full of worry -- and love.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I didn't mean…"

"I know," he said, keeping his eyes on the girl in his arms. He leaned down, pressing his lips to hers. "Kam, you need to wake up. Everything's okay. I love you. Kam." He shook her gently.

"Ugh," she moaned. "Jake. Bella…She's… Bella's here…I can't lose…Jake…I love…" her voice was growing more frantic with each sputtering.

"Shh…" he tightened his hold on her. "I love you, Kam. It's okay."

I was surprised at my reaction to watching Jacob telling this other woman he loved her. I would have expected my dead heart to feel as though it were being shredded, but the opposite was happening.

I cautiously took a step closer. Jacob's eyes flashed to mine, glaring at me. I held up my hands. "It's okay, Kam." I smiled. "I'm only here looking for Edward."

She turned her head to look at me. "Edward?"

"Bella, let me take her home and then we can talk, okay?"

I nodded, watching as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Don't leave me," I heard her beg as they disappeared into the trees.

I leaned against a tree and slid down, resting near the trunk. I dropped my head into my hands. Her request sounded so familiar. I'd muttered those same words far too many times in my short lifetime. This girl, who had captured Jacob's heart, and I had more in common than I wanted to admit.

We both adored Jacob. Loved him.

But there was more to our connection. We both feared being left alone -- abandoned -- by the men we loved.

My thoughts drifted back to Edward and the reason I was here. Anxiety began building in the pit of my stomach as it jumped and twisted, wondering where he could be.

"Bella?" my name drifted on the night breeze. I looked around, searching for the source. "Bells." Jacob's form appeared through the shadows. "What are you doing here?" His tone surprised me. He didn't sound angry -- exactly. But he wasn't happy to see me either. I fought against the sadness and guilt that was building.

"Um…Edward…"

He took my hand in his and smiled, "Spit it out, Bells."

"Oh, I've ruined everything…" My shoulders shook and again, I cursed the lack of tears.

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. I inhaled his musky scent and regretted it. Everything about him had once been my reason for living; but in this moment, I only felt the comfort of a friend. I needed to feel the electric pull of Edward's embrace.

"Edward has bent over backward, trying to make things easier for me, and I…" I sniffed. "I only hurt him."

"How could you possibly hurt him?" he chuckled.

I pulled my head away from his chest and looked up into his eyes that were glistening in the way mine never would again. "I just couldn't let you go. I loved you too much."

"Bella, honey…" he kissed my forehead. "You know, it's not possible for us to be together."

"Jake, that's not why I'm here." I released my grip and stepped away. "I've come to realize something in the last 48 hours." I paused, staring intently into his dark eyes. "I love Edward and even though, you'll always have a piece of my heart, You are my past. Edward is my future."

"As is Kam for me."

"I like her, Jake."

"I'm glad. She's a lot like you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think that's why she was so easy to love," he chuckled. "So tell me again why you're here."

"Edward overheard me crying over you and… well… he left," the sobs began again. "He left me -- again."

"I'm sure he didn't leave…"

"He did. He left. And… Alice saw that he might have come here. So I came to find him. Have you seen him?"

"N-…" A smile tugged at his lips as his eyes focused over my shoulder. "Yeah, I have seen him."

"Oh, Jake. Wh-…"

"Bella," his beautiful, velvet voice interrupted from behind me. I whirled to see the man of my dreams walking towards me, his arms outstretched. Without a second thought, I raced to him, leaping into his protective grasp.

I pulled back, staring into his eyes. "Edward, how could you leave me?"

"I didn't leave…"

"Leech," Jake muttered.

"Hi, Mutt."

Panic struck. "Edward, it's not what you…"

"You don't need to explain," he promised. "I heard everything. You love me."

"Yes."

"Jacob is your past."

"Um hum."

"And I am…"

"My future," I finished his sentence, crashing my lips to his. He returned my kiss with such intensity, my whole body went numb. His hands tangled in my hair, my body melting at his touch.

I unleashed all the passion that I felt for him into the kiss. I wanted him to understand without a doubt that he was the only one I now wanted. His lips opened under my assault and my tongue entered his mouth. Electricity began coursing through my body as our tongues met, dancing together in pure ecstasy.

The world around me faded as I absorbed everything about him. His touch, as his hands slowly roamed down my back. His breathtaking scent that swirled around me.

A loud cough startled me back to reality. We released our hold on one another. I took him by the hand. Embarrassed, grateful I could no longer blush, I turned to face Jake, worried about what his reaction would be.

My fears where quickly put to rest as a smile spread across his face, reaching his eyes. "I'm happy for you, Bells. Goodbye."

As Jacob walked out of my life for the last time, I felt nothing but peace. He had moved on and was happy….And so was I.


	20. Goodbyes

Thanks for all of your reviews! I love you!! -- Thank you to not done baking, Leria and Spinnerofdreams for helping with this chapter!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! All recognizable people and places belong to her.

* * *

Chapter Twenty - Goodbyes

I regretted the way I ran out on Bella without so much as a word of where I was going. I hadn't mentioned it to anyone in my family and had purposely kept my thoughts in a mess to avoid Alice knowing exactly where I was.

Bella had said she needed some time to get over Jacob, and as excruciating and it was, time was what I planned on giving her. A few days at least. As long as my heart could muster.

She was heartbroken because her ring had fallen to the bottom of the Bering Sea. I couldn't return her lost love, but I could retrieve the emblem that once meant she would be his bride.

I returned to the place where we had exited the water and stripped down to my boxers. This time I wouldn't soak the seats. I dove into the sea, swimming against the current. Plunging my body deeper and deeper. When I finally reached the sandy bottom, I searched with my hands for the proverbial needle in the haystack. This was a rather large haystack and an equally small needle.

It was a good thing I didn't need oxygen, because the search was taking longer than I would have imagined. I'd thought this errand would be an easy one, but it was proving to be difficult. I wondered if having a flashlight would have made it easier.

I considered going back up and getting one when my hand brushed against something. I picked it up. I'd found it. I gripped it between my fingers, careful not to crush it.

As I exited the waters, my body continued to get wet. It had started to rain, soaking the dry clothes I'd left on the shore. "Dammit!" I groaned, shaking them out. I threw them into the trunk, grateful I'd grabbed a change of clothes before retreating out of the house this morning.

I got dressed and sat in my car, examining the cause of Bella's breakdown. The detail was amazing. I ran my finger gently over the wolf on the top. _The dog really made this himself? _I wondered how long it had taken him. It was a good thing Bella had placed it into a plastic bag otherwise it would have been ruined.

My phone buzzed from the seat beside me and I glanced down at the number. Bella. She must have realized I was gone. I waited, hoping to hear the tone signaling that she'd left a message.

Within seconds, I flipped open the phone and listened to the first of my seven messages.

"Edward, it's Alice. Call me."

"Hey, Bro. Bella's really freaking out! Call me," Jasper's voice relayed.

"Edward," my stomach flipped at the sound of Bella's voice. "Where are you?"

"She's gone… Edward you need to call home," Alice's tone was frantic. "I can't see where she went."

"Dude, make a decision so Alice can tell where the hell you are!" Emmett growled.

"Oh, Edward," Bella mumbled quietly before her voice was gone. She sounded so sad. I cursed myself for hurting her, yet again.

"Edward, it's me. I _need _you to call me. Alice said you might be in La Push. I'm headed there now. I love you. Edward, I love you so much. _Please _call me."

_What? She's on her way to La Push? _

I started the car and began driving like a madman to the home of the dogs. I loathed myself for putting Bella in harms way.

All I could think about was the danger Bella was headed for. The wolves wouldn't think twice about hurting her, especially if she ran into that bitter one they called Leah. Her thoughts told me how much she hated my sweet Bella. And the angry one, Paul… I couldn't bear to consider what he would do to her. I could only hope she met up with Jacob…

Ah, Jacob. What if she did see Jacob? It'd been months since he'd said goodbye and she still wasn't over him. She'd never be able to move on with me if he kept popping up in her life.

I slammed the gas pedal to the floor, pushing the engine to its limit. I considered calling her, but knew fate was already in motion.

The hours passed far too slowly, but I finally arrived on the La Push border. I concentrated on the thoughts around me, hoping to be able to hear her beautiful voice. Instead I heard Jacob's.

_How can I convince her she's the only one for me?_

I gulped. If he was going to try to convince Bella, I feared it wouldn't take much. I came to the edge of the trees to see her standing in Jacob's arms. I stifled a growl and bit back the green-eyed monster that wanted to rip his arms off and beat him with them.

Then I heard Bella's voice speak my name. "Um…Edward…"

_What could be so horrible? _He took her by the hand, "Spit it out, Bells."

"Oh, I've ruined everything…" Her shoulder shook with tearless sobs.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his chest. And again, I was overwhelmed with agonizing jealousy. This man was once her whole world.

"Edward has bent over backward, trying to make things easier for me, and I…" she sniffed. "I only hurt him."

"How could you possibly hurt him?" he chuckled.

She pulled away from his embrace and looked up into his eyes. "I just couldn't let you go. I loved you too much."

I gulped at her revelation and frantically searched his mind for what this meant to him. _Loved, past tense. That's good. She has moved on. _

_Did she say 'loved'? _I'd missed that.

"Bella, honey…" he kissed her forehead. "You know, it's not possible for us to be together."

I let the air out of my lungs in relief.

"Jake, that's not why I'm here." She stepped away from him, ringing her hands. "I've come to realize something in the last 48 hours." She paused, looking up into his eyes. Their exchange was becoming excruciating. "I love Edward…" I could have sworn my dead heart jumped. "and even though, you'll always have a piece of my heart, You are my past. Edward is my future."

"As is Kam for me." _I hope Kam's all right. She always worried that Bella would come back, trying to claim my heart again, and coming face to face with that fear had to be very difficult for her._

"I like her, Jake."

"I'm glad. She's a lot like you." _She's so stubborn, _his thoughts almost groaned.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think that's why she was so easy to love," he chuckled. "So tell me again why you're here."

"Edward overheard me crying over you and… well… he left," the sobs began again. "He left me -- again."

_Oh, no. She thinks I left her again? _I suddenly felt very guilty of not explaining where I was going and why. I would do anything to make her happy. I'd heard through her thoughts that she wanted time to mourn Jacob and seeing her crying over the loss of his ring was more than I could take. I figured I would kill two birds with one stone. I'd give her time and get her ring back.

"I'm sure he didn't leave…"

"He did. He left. And… Alice saw that he might have come here. So I came to find him. Have you seen him?"

"N-…" he began, before noticing me as I stepped out into the clearing. "Yeah, I have seen him."

I nodded at him.

"Oh, Jake. Wh-…"

"Bella," I whispered, walking out to meet her. She whirled around, a smile spreading across her face. She ran toward me, and leapt into my arms. I held her to my chest and breathed in her scent. Peace. I was finally at peace.

She pulled back, staring into my eyes. "Edward, how could you leave me?" her voice broke.

I wanted to reach out to her, take her into my arms and comfort all her fears away. But instead, I began my explanation, "I didn't leave…"

"Leech," Jake muttered from behind Bella.

"Hi, Mutt." We exchanged niceties.

"Edward, it's not what you…" her voice was panicked. And although, I had been jealous in the beginning, her words had comforted all my fears away.

"You don't need to explain," I chuckled. "I heard everything. You love me." It felt so good to say the words. _She loves me._

"Yes."

"Jacob is your past."

"Um hum."

"And I am…"

"My future," she finished my sentence. She tilted her head up and pressed her lips to mine. I gave into my passion for her, and reached my hands up into her hair, pulling her eagerly to me.

She wrapped her arms around my neck. There was so much passion in her kiss, it took my breath away. Her tongue darted out, begging for entrance. I opened my mouth, tasting her.

The mutt's disgusted thoughts disappeared as I focused on the only thing that mattered to me in this world. Bella's perfect lips. Her hands running up and down my back, eagerly pulling me closer to her. Her intoxicating scent.

A loud cough caused Bella to jump. She released her grip on me and took my hand. She looked up into my eyes and I could see the embarrassment there. _Oh, how I miss her blush_.

A smile spread across his face, reaching his eyes. "I'm happy for you, Bells. Goodbye."

I wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and watched over her shoulder as Jacob disappeared into the trees.

"Are you okay?" I whispered in her ear.

"Um hum," she muttered, while turning to face me. She glared at me and slapped at my chest. "Don't you ever do that to me again, Edward Cullen! I love you. I can't bear for you to leave me again."

I pressed my lips to her forehead. "I promise. I won't ever leave without telling you where I'm going."

"I guess that'll do," she giggled. "Why the hell would you come to La Push?"

"I came to get you."

"So where were you, if you weren't here? Alice couldn't tell."

"Well…" I reached into my pocket, taking the ring into my fist. "You were devastated when you lost this." I held it out to her and she gasped. "Haven't you figured out I would do anything to make you happy."

"You went to get…" she sniffed, "my ring. Oh, Edward." She wrapped her arms around me as her sobs started again. _I love you, _her thoughts spoke the words she could no longer voice. _Thank you. _

"Would you like me to put it on your finger?" It would break my heart to see Jacob's ring on her finger again, but all that mattered was her happiness.

"No," she whispered. "I'm just grateful to have the memory." She took it from my hand and dropped it into her pocket.

The next ring that adorned her left, ring finger would be one that sparkled as brightly as her skin in the sunlight.

"Thank you, Edward."

"You're welcome, love."

"Let's go home."

* * *

Author's Note: This story is winding down. I'm glad you've enjoyed it! 


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